Happy Birthday Grandpa!

As February turns into March, it is time for the annual letter to celebrate Grandpa's birthday.  This year it has taken on more importance.  Grandpa has endured a few physical challenges in recent weeks and will be home from the skilled nursing facility within a few days of his birthday.  I will be heading to Iowa this weekend and I can't wait to feel those loving arms around me one more time!  Happy 106th, Grandpa. 

Dear Grandpa,

Happy birthday to a guy who must surely be the most powerful man on the planet.  You have the strength of a super magnet that is somehow able to draw this family from our respective corners of the country that we each call home, to the place that gave birth to the Allen family as we know it.  Why do we come?  Iowa is not on very many tourist maps, yet we take vacation days from work, board planes and cars and trucks just to be in your presence.  The 2nd of March is still very much winter in Council Bluffs but for some reason we leave the warmth of Florida, California, or Texas to be with you.  I don't know if you know how this annual game is played but here is a quick synopsis.  The grandkids and great grandkids start talking about "Grandpa's birthday" around Christmas time.  The "kids" tell us to hold on because your approval hasn't been given.  Once there is a green light, the computers iPads, and cell phones light up across the country as we make our plane, hotel, and car rental reservations.  And then, POOF!, somewhere around your birthday we all descend upon you.  But the question bears repeating, why do we come?

We come for your wisdom.  We yearn for your stories, the stories of days gone by when life was different, when the value of a person's character mattered.  We know your stories are our fathers' stories and our own stories.  The life lessons of floods, tornadoes and hard times that reveal the underlying strength of a man lead to great wisdom.  Our generations have yet to face the trials that bring real wisdom so we come to learn from you.  And we are never disappointed.  We always return home much wiser than we left.  

We come because you re-instill in us the values of honesty, integrity and perseverance.  You taught your sons these valuable lessons and they in turn passed them on to us.  They are what brings us to the true understanding of being an Allen.  You have lived your life with these guiding principals as your north star.  Everyone knows that the word of Don Allen is true.  Today these virtues are almost non-existent in the world and yet, we Allens continue to abide by them.  We share their value with our children and anyone else who will listen.  In your presence we are once again reminded that we must carry forth the legacy and hold high the banner of truth.  Your example gives us the strength to continue on, living our lives with you as our model. 

We come to be near you.  This year, that has taken on more importance than any other.  But the truth is, we come for ourselves.  We need to see this great man who we all must acknowledge will not live forever.  The day is going to come when we must take your place.  We, your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren and your great-great-grandchildren will stand in your stead and profess to the world the meaning of being an Allen.  You have taught each of us well but we yearn to sit at the feet of the master for a few final lessons.  

We come so you know how deeply you are loved.  There is no better time than your birthday to show that love.  Grandpa, there is no one on this planet that I have loved and respected more than you.  Your arms have always been my safe haven.  You have shown me how to laugh when I stumble and reminded me that I am never alone.  The gifts that you have given me are immeasurable.  In like manner my love can never be quantified.  I am unable to name it, describe it, or compare it to anything else on earth.  It is all in that first hug, in that moment when our two spirits melt into one and I know once again who I am.  

Why do we come?  It is simple.  You make us better than we were or we ever dreamed we could be.  We leave your presence wiser, stronger and more loving.  We come to say thank you and celebrate this great life of yours.  Happy Birthday, Grandpa.  May there be many more!

Another Fall

Those of you who know me as a runner know that my greatest fear is of falling.  It's not about the fall, it's the fear of hurting myself, really hurting myself and bringing an end to this wonderful little hobby I have discovered.  As the title implies there has been a second fall.  This one has only left me with irritation and frustration.  I was running with the Running Club at school and one of the kids cut in front of me.  From then on there was no stopping what happened next.  Once everyone (including me) recovered from the shock of seeing Ms. Allen on the ground, we all tried to carry on.  Had I known what was going to be the end result, I might have made a different decision and called for a replacement or just headed back to school.  4 miles and a very sore foot later I headed right for the freezer and an ice bag.  I have diagnosed myself with a stress fracture.  The top of my foot remains swollen so I am off running, walking and most of my shoes are also off limits.  I'm not that good at forgiving but I am slowly giving up the blame game and just dealing with the situation as it is.  I am sad that I will not be able to fulfill my Wounded Warrior February goal of 100 miles.  I made the 80 mile mark with still a week to go.  Everyone thought it was a done deal.  But it just wasn't to be.  Maybe next year…  In the meantime, I will ice and rest and take a little ibuprofen now and then waiting for the day that I can walk evenly balanced on both feet again.

Sheer Joy

I have had moments in my life where I am just simply overcome with joy.  That's the only word I can come up with for it but it's more than that.  I am filled to overflowing with whatever is happening in the moment in time.  I feel an aura around me that is almost tangible, the feeling of being blessed in unexplainable ways.  I feel like I will explode and suddenly I am in tears - not crying tears - just tears that must be expelled.  It happened repeatedly immediately after Callie was born.  To see my baby mothering her own baby was just more than I was prepared to take in stride.  It happened over and over again to a point where I asked my friend, Paula,  when will I stop crying?  She assured me that it would pass and she was right, it did.  But this weekend it happened again.  Up until this point in my life I have mostly defined myself by what I do.  But this year, that seems to be changing.  Work is not fulfilling me but yet I am making money that is bringing me all kinds of other happiness.  I am traveling again.  I am going out to dinner with friends and not worrying about the cost before accepting.  That part of my life is about as good as it has ever been.  This weekend I flew to Anaheim to run the Tinker Bell Half Marathon and enjoy DisneyLand with my grandchildren.  I got there in time to see the Kids Race. The minute Callie saw me, she ran full bore with arms open wide and jumped in my arms shouting "Grandma!"  I was overcome with that unadulterated look of love on her face.  We went to the coffee shop and had a bit of a makeshift "picnic" snack.  She kept saying "This is the best picnic ever!"  By that point, the blessings were innumerable.  I was grateful for my job, my job that had a 3 day weekend, that Maria and Bill would invite me to be a part of it all, that I had the money to fly to Anaheim, , that I could be there to see the girls crossing the finish line, that I could eat with them and play with them.  I was once again over come with sheer joy.  I am blessed.

No Regrets

Living life with no regrets means coming to terms with the fact that you are in at least the fall and possibly the winter of your life.  For me, work no longer is the focus.  I have gone back to my life list and refocused my energy.  Work has become the means to a new end - to live life fully.

Plan #1 is to get a summer school job and take a tour of Ireland and Scotland

Plan #2 is to go to New Orleans/Natchez over spring break.

Plan #3 is to figure out the work thing.  As much as I love teaching, I'm pretty sure that this placement is not a good fit for me for lots of different reason.  Now, what to do about it.  Things are not that great in the Diocese and I know there's no going back to public school.  Maybe I'm done with teaching…  There are lots of ways to teach without being in the classroom.  We'll just have to wait and see what the next few months have in store for this funny little journey I am on.

Keeping Things in Balance

My goal for 2014 is to get things back in balance.  I am hoping that this Christmas vacation is an indicator of what's ahead.  I did plenty of work but I also played a lot.

I started off with lots of time with the little people in my life.  That always reminds me of what's important in life!

I got in lots of reading - actually finished the book I started reading last summer - and started a new one.  But the big news is that I have a huge list of books to read so I can make plans for the future.  Thank you to everyone who contributed suggestions.

I did a little writing.  It is good to be back on my blog.

I got in some running and fitness time.  I ran or walked  4-5 times a week.  It felt good to be back in the routine again.  I got in a walk on the beach and one in the woods.

I even saw some movies for added diversion.  I can't remember the last time I did that!  Here is the list:
American Hustle, Philomena, Dallas Buyer's Club, Nebraska, and Gravity.  Bring on the Emmys!

And there was plenty of work - Lesson plans for the upcoming week are done as well as my first attempt at creating final exams and accompanying study guide.

And this all leaves me a weekend to relax before going back to the work routine.  That will be the real test of my 2014 resolution.