You Need To Be a Grandparent

An open letter to a dear friend and someone who knew more about me than I did myself:

Not so long ago, a very wise man made it abundantly clear to me that I needed to be a grandmother.  You and I would argue back and forth about this notion.  My answer was always no, it wasn't necessary.  I didn't want my children having children just so I could be a grandmother. Well, I am here to say that you were right, Dan!  After only a couple years of my new title as Grandma Tere, I believe that I really was made for this grandparenting thing and that I did NEED to be a grandmother.  

I have never been happier with any phase of my existence than I am right now.  And it is all because of these two little beings who share my life. Just being with them brings me utter and complete joy.  I am constantly in a state of bliss. Callie's laughter has a direct line to my heart and I can't stop myself from giggling over Lucia's babbling conversations.  I love everything about being a grandparent and I can’t get enough of it. 

Our weekly date night has very little to do with Maria and Bill going out together; it’s all about my special alone time with the girls.  It is a chance for them to know who I am in their lives and for me to marvel at their unique personalities.  We play, we talk, we laugh our deep belly laughs that echo their way into my very being.  I hold onto the simplest memories of our time together; playing train or farm or dollhouse, baking cookies, eating popcorn and drinking hot chocolate.  They become what sustains me until we are together to do it all over again.     

It is hard for me to think of a time when I was without them in my life.  How empty it must have been!  And how sad you must have been to hear me say over and over again that I didn’t need to play this role; that I didn’t need to have this unbridled love throwing me back into life.  I laugh and cry now more than I ever have.  I see the world through little eyes and short legs and it is filled with awe and beauty.  I have never loved anyone more deeply and completely than I do these two beautiful girls.  How lucky I am to be in this time and place where I have the honor of sitting back and watching these two lives unfold before my very eyes.  I am truly blessed.

Every time I get that little twinge in my heart over something they have done or said or some new thing that they can do, I think of you and I remember.  I remember over and over again your words and your deep desire for me to experience all of this.  I smile and say to myself, Dan was right.  He was so very right.  

Giving Thanks

Although this will be a very different Thanksgiving for me, the focus of the day does not change.  I am constantly in a state of gratitude these days.

I am able to work in a job I love.  It pays the bills and rewards me with untold love, affection and entertainment.  I have an incredible group of families that support and sustain me financially, emotionally and even spiritually.  I couldn't be happier.

I am enveloped with never ending love from my granddaughters.  These two girls have the most amazing smiles that melt away any concern that I may have had the second before they appeared.  I love watching them grow and change and become who they are meant to be.  Their love is overflowing and I am thrilled to catch it and swallow it up.

I am thankful for my daughter and son-in-law.  They have given my life more meaning than I ever thought it could hold.  I love journeying with them through all the physical and emotional challenges of raising 2 beautiful daughters.  I love the deep and meaningful conversations we are still somehow able to sustain throughout the often times chaotic households we find ourselves in.  I am blessed to be such an important part of their lives.

I am grateful for the friends who, despite my scheduling challenges continue to work with me to find time for face to face friendship so that our relationships continue to grow and feed my spirit.  It isn't easy but it is always worth the effort.  We leave one another happier and stronger because of our time together.

I am lucky to still have my grandfather and parents leading my path.  I depend on them more than they know.  They model for me ways to live an honest and authentic life, always remaining true to your beliefs, morals and convictions.  They have made me a stronger woman than I could ever possibly be on my own.

I am thankful for my sister/friend.  We are more than sisters and the older we get, the more we bring to one another.  She understands me in ways that no one else in the world ever will.  I love growing older with her at my side and can't wait for our next adventure.

I give thanks for my brother and sister-in-law who can make me laugh when no one else can.  I love sharing my day care adventures with Vickie.  She gets it and knows what I am feeling before I even know it myself.  The two of them are an incredible example of getting through the tough stuff and remaining true to the love that first brought you together.  I constantly marvel at the bond of their relationship.

Although it may sound cliche, I am deeply grateful for my health.  My sister had a very close call this year and the thought of losing her overwhelmed me in ways that were difficult to comprehend.  It seems in the past few weeks, I have been inundated with messages from friends and family whose loved ones have become terribly ill.  It is the constant reminder to be grateful for all that we have today.  The world and all its inhabitants are fleeting and transient.  Stay in the moment and don't wait for tomorrow.

So on this Thanksgiving 2012 I say thank you.  Thank you to all the people who touch my life in profound ways.  Thank you for not only loving me, but for taking the time to show it and say it out loud.  I am eternally grateful and am a better person because of your presence in my life.