Grandpa 2012

As February moves on week by week, it brings thoughts of Grandpa's birthday. My grandfather will celebrate his 104th birthday on March 2. Many years ago I realized there was nothing I could give him besides my words - words that showed

him how important he has been in my life, words that retell the story of our love affair, words that will last forever. The first few years I had no concern of where those words would come from. But as time marched on I approached the gift with reservations - what would I say that I hadn't already said, what would be my metaphor for the love we have shared, how do I tell him all that he is and has been to me? This year I had an added concern; where would I find the time to write the letter. Once again I had no need for any of that needless worry - a lesson that he tried his best to teach me decades ago. This year's letter was written during nap time today. It turns out that all I ever need to express my love for Grandpa is a few quiet moments.

Dear Grandpa,

Happy birthday, Grandpa.

This is the first year in a long time that I haven’t been sitting beside you while you read my card and letter. It is sad not to feel your arms around me but my Grandma Tere duties call. In a few short days you will have another great great grandchild adding the next branch to your family tree and I will be here to greet her and tell her all about the amazing man who stands at the trunk of that tree.

Baby Girl, your great great grandfather is like no one who has been before or will ever come again. He has loved each of us more completely than any one person ever could. He accepts us for who we are with no judgment or criticism and he has been my idol from my very earliest memories. He is loving and strong. His wisdom knows no bounds and he will gladly share all that he knows with anyone who asks. He is, what someday you will know as, the salt of the earth. He learned long ago to take everything in stride. Whether it is a snowstorm or an unexpected death, he knows there is light just around the corner and he just has to patiently wait for happier times because he knows that they will come. He lives a simple, honest life and has shown each generation how important it is to be true to your beliefs and your family. We all look up to him. That is your great great grandpa, the most amazing man I have ever known. I hope that you will meet him soon but you will know him through my stories and your mommy’s and your daddy’s. We all stand in his shadow and know that he is what each of us strives to be – good and loving, strong and happy, wise and wonderful.

Grandpa, thank you for your wisdom through the years, your undying love, and for being such an amazing model for a life well lived. In return for the love you have given me, I promise to do the best I can to be everything to my grandchildren that you have been to me. I send you all my love, respect and admiration and wrap it up in the folds of this letter, praying that it will somehow take the place of your birthday hug. I love you.

Grandma Tere Continued

In just a few short weeks I will become a grandmother for the second time around. It is hard to imagine but just one look at my daughter tells me that time is getting short. Much like becoming a mom the second time, I can't imagine that I'll be able to love this little girl as much as I do Callie. But once again, my heart will crack open and my arms will open wide and there will be this amazing person who will change me in ways I never dreamed possible. I know she won't be anything like Callie and that will be the fun of it. I go to bed at night and think about her, wondering about her eyes and hair. I hear her voice in my dreams announcing her coming. When I imagine seeing her for the very first time I cry. I want to see her and meet her and know who she is just as I did her big sister. I want to hold her and look into those big blue eyes and say I love you, Baby Girl. I want to see her mommy and daddy swallowed up in the amazing love that comes the minute you see your baby for the first time and realize that life will never ever be the same. I want to see Miss Callie's face when she realizes this tiny little baby is who she has been talking to in Mommy's tummy. I want to watch her showing the new CG girl how everything is done in life.

In some ways I know a little something about this grandmother thing but in others it feels all brand new again. I can't wait for this sequel to begin. Come baby come. Show me the love that is to be born again inside of me. Break this heart wide open and prove once again that there is always room for one more.