It feels very strange not cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year but the extra time allows me the time to think about the purpose behind the holiday, giving thanks.
Top 10
1. My family. I am grateful for each and everyone of them from my 101 year old grandfather to the grandchild who is on her way. They continue to guide me along this journey and through my joys and sorrows helping me become the best that I can be.
2. My friends. Many of my friends have become synonymous with family. They are the safe place where I can be who I really am with no concern of judgment.
3. My house. It is much more than a shelter; it is my refuge. In year 3 of the remodel, I still smile the minute I walk through the door every single day.
4. A job that renews me everyday where I am respected for all that I bring to the table be it strengths or challenges.
5. The ability to live in northern California where everything is beautiful every day of the year.
6. My dog, Jack who is the true embodiment of unconditional love.
7. My good health both physical and mental. I have felt a glimmer of my impending age and witnessed the pain of mental imbalance. My health is the #1 thing that I take for granted until it is lost.
8. Clean air and water on our beautiful planet Earth
9. Food, especially cheese and chocolate
10. Love from all those who have touched my life in little and giant ways teaching me over and over again that I am worthy of it.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A Wake Up Call
This week has been one of those when I have realized that I was put on this earth and placed on this path for a specific reason. I am here to support kids. Along the way I do a little teaching but it's really about supporting kids. That support comes in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes it's a little kick in the rear to jump start their academic career and make them realize it's all up to them now. Mom isn't here to hold your hand or help you figure out what you think or why you think it. It's your turn to stand up for what you believe. At other times that support looks a lot like counseling; questioning, giving choices, leading them to new ways of looking at the world. But most often that support looks a lot like mothering. Sometimes that's all we can do is just show these kids that they are loved for who they are and share the vision of who we believe that they can be.
I've said many times this year that my current team of students are quite a pleasure to teach. I personally believe that 99% of that is attributed to me having a sliver of an idea of how to go about teaching middle school English. Although it is an amazing group of kids there are several who are clearly in need of our loving support. There is one who definitely has issues with impulse control that has resulted in some academic issues. Then there is one with serious anger management challenges. We also have a little group of girls who have made some less than productive choices about attendance. Sometimes that's tardiness and others it's not showing up at all. Then there is the girl who challenged me on her class report card which has led to a much better relationship between the two of us. The magic potion on most days is simply a smile and greeting from me as she enters the room. There is the girl who was caught, in the words of the counselor, sucking face with a boy but evidently a little more than kissing was going on. I have a student whose mother thought I was humiliating her kid who I am just now beginning to soften up around. And now there is a student who following a call home thought he would get away with calling me a liar. Too bad about the invention of the speaker phone. We also have a student who I believe is clinically depressed who if left to his own devices would literally do nothing all day. And finally today was the revelation about a student who is living among drug sellers, according to rumor has a 19 year old boy friend and has been avoiding school.
Where do you put all this while going about the business of teaching the state standards of English Language Arts? This all comes before anything else. The smile, the how are you doing, the it's nice to see you today, the what do you need right now, the tap on the desk to reboot the brain. But what is more stunning than realizing that the face of illegal neighborhood drug sales and mental illlnes is sitting in my classroom is listening to the way that some other teachers respond to it. There are days that the hardest thing I do is have lunch in the faculty room. Kids are called names; lazy, slugs, rocks. They are ridiculed. They are kept from learning because of an over indulgence of punishment for a silly thing like chewing gum. I'm not sure how these teachers come to work everyday if they think so little of the students in the chairs. I am blessed to be working with a partner that is like minded. It could be a very lonely job without her.
So tonight while I am lying in bed as my brain unwinds and before I drift off to sleep I will "see " these kids in my mind and think once more about ways to support them, ways to give them what they need that they are not getting anywhere else. These are the faces of middle school students today; truancy, mental illness, illegal drugs, gangs, sexual behavior, language barriers. It is overwhelming on one hand but so simple on the other.
I've said many times this year that my current team of students are quite a pleasure to teach. I personally believe that 99% of that is attributed to me having a sliver of an idea of how to go about teaching middle school English. Although it is an amazing group of kids there are several who are clearly in need of our loving support. There is one who definitely has issues with impulse control that has resulted in some academic issues. Then there is one with serious anger management challenges. We also have a little group of girls who have made some less than productive choices about attendance. Sometimes that's tardiness and others it's not showing up at all. Then there is the girl who challenged me on her class report card which has led to a much better relationship between the two of us. The magic potion on most days is simply a smile and greeting from me as she enters the room. There is the girl who was caught, in the words of the counselor, sucking face with a boy but evidently a little more than kissing was going on. I have a student whose mother thought I was humiliating her kid who I am just now beginning to soften up around. And now there is a student who following a call home thought he would get away with calling me a liar. Too bad about the invention of the speaker phone. We also have a student who I believe is clinically depressed who if left to his own devices would literally do nothing all day. And finally today was the revelation about a student who is living among drug sellers, according to rumor has a 19 year old boy friend and has been avoiding school.
Where do you put all this while going about the business of teaching the state standards of English Language Arts? This all comes before anything else. The smile, the how are you doing, the it's nice to see you today, the what do you need right now, the tap on the desk to reboot the brain. But what is more stunning than realizing that the face of illegal neighborhood drug sales and mental illlnes is sitting in my classroom is listening to the way that some other teachers respond to it. There are days that the hardest thing I do is have lunch in the faculty room. Kids are called names; lazy, slugs, rocks. They are ridiculed. They are kept from learning because of an over indulgence of punishment for a silly thing like chewing gum. I'm not sure how these teachers come to work everyday if they think so little of the students in the chairs. I am blessed to be working with a partner that is like minded. It could be a very lonely job without her.
So tonight while I am lying in bed as my brain unwinds and before I drift off to sleep I will "see " these kids in my mind and think once more about ways to support them, ways to give them what they need that they are not getting anywhere else. These are the faces of middle school students today; truancy, mental illness, illegal drugs, gangs, sexual behavior, language barriers. It is overwhelming on one hand but so simple on the other.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Joys in Life
On the 28th of November I will celebrate the anniversary of one of the greatest joys of my life, the birth of my daughter. Your first child is such an unbelievable experience. I didn't think anything could ever compare to the state of euphoria I felt. Then we took her home and the fun really began. Your heart sings with every new accomplishment. I'm talking about little things like a smile, or a turn of the head as she recognizes your voice, her outstretched arms as she reaches out for the first time. Being a mom was and still is the greatest thing I ever did. Then my baby grew up and I once again experienced that pure joy when I watched her get married. Those are tears that took me by utter surprise. I didn't realize how emotional it would be to watch your child promise herself to the man of her dreams. She had found her great love and was ready to begin her happy ever after. What more could you ask for?
And now here I am again experiencing joy I never saw coming. But this one will last a long long time. My baby is becoming a mama and I am constantly being taken by surprise with feelings of joy. Even though I knew every step of the journey I was still overcome with emotion when they made the announcement that there would be another C-G in the world. At the time I told her I couldn't wait to see her all round but I had no idea how true that would become. I love listening to her talk about the pregnancy, the baby, and the family they are becoming. I love just looking at her and marveling at the life she is creating. Every time I see her, she looks different so as we hug our farewells, I hold her just a little longer than I used to so I can hold on to the image, much like I did as she was growing up. I had no idea it would be so much fun to watch your daughter become pregnant and it has absolutely nothing to do with anything grandma related. It's all about her. I'm not sure I know what all of it is but I know there's something to sharing the stories of motherhood. It is a bond that women share that is hard to put into words. I just feel so lucky to be able to share it with my baby who is going to be such a wonderful mama. I can't imagine the emotions that will erupt the first time I see her holding their beautiful baby in her arms. That must be the greatest thing a mother can ever see, motherhood being passed on and knowing the joy that she is feeling because I have been her.
And now here I am again experiencing joy I never saw coming. But this one will last a long long time. My baby is becoming a mama and I am constantly being taken by surprise with feelings of joy. Even though I knew every step of the journey I was still overcome with emotion when they made the announcement that there would be another C-G in the world. At the time I told her I couldn't wait to see her all round but I had no idea how true that would become. I love listening to her talk about the pregnancy, the baby, and the family they are becoming. I love just looking at her and marveling at the life she is creating. Every time I see her, she looks different so as we hug our farewells, I hold her just a little longer than I used to so I can hold on to the image, much like I did as she was growing up. I had no idea it would be so much fun to watch your daughter become pregnant and it has absolutely nothing to do with anything grandma related. It's all about her. I'm not sure I know what all of it is but I know there's something to sharing the stories of motherhood. It is a bond that women share that is hard to put into words. I just feel so lucky to be able to share it with my baby who is going to be such a wonderful mama. I can't imagine the emotions that will erupt the first time I see her holding their beautiful baby in her arms. That must be the greatest thing a mother can ever see, motherhood being passed on and knowing the joy that she is feeling because I have been her.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I've Got Opinions
People who see me at work every day and even some that see me on weekends know that I have been challenged by my reading intervention class this year. We had a meeting on Tuesday of all the intervention teachers with some very interesting results. We did all the ordinary things - group discussions about strengths and challenges, recording them on the chart, planning future units, talking about grading policies and time to meet in school teams. It sounds ordinary but I had a lot of ah ha moments. I tried to air them with the district guru but it didn't seem to go very far. She just told me to write a letter. The last time I wrote one of these letters, it was about the district's failure to close down a school during a horrendous storm and localized power outage. It took a while but eventually a mea culpa and apology was made. OK. You want a letter? Here it is... I doubt it will get any results but I sure do feel better now:)
Dear "Powers That Be,"
I would like to thank you both for the opportunity to be a part of the district implementation of Read 180. For a teacher, there is nothing like the feeling of knowing that you are involved in something that has the ability to change kids’ lives. It’s the reason we enter the teaching field in the first place and it sustains us throughout our careers.
On November 10, 2009 I attended a Read 180 meeting where we were given the time to sit down together and share our experiences, plan units, and meet in site based teams. It was an opportunity for the Read 180 teachers within our district to be able to discuss with each other our successes and challenges. This being the first year of implementation, there have been many hurdles to overcome. I have appreciated the support at both the local and district level.
Read 180 has not been my first experience with reading intervention programs. My introduction to the educational profession was as a first grade teacher where the teaching of reading is paramount. It wasn’t long before I began searching for a reading intervention and became involved in developing a first grade program for the Diocese of San Jose. So when the opportunity to be a part of a secondary reading intervention presented itself, I couldn’t resist. Part of that was curiosity about what a middle school reading intervention would look like and part of it was the desire to be involved in something life changing.
My experience with Read 180 has had its ups and downs. The greatest difficulty for my students and me has been time. Buchser has attempted to keep all the pieces in place in order to make a difference in our students’ lives. The pieces are many; scheduling a balanced academic curriculum for each student, maintaining the students in a regular English Language Arts class and somehow finding the time in the day to allocate for Read 180. The result has been that students are in a 50-minute ELA class as well as 70 minutes of Read 180.
With this in mind, I must admit that I learned a lot at the district meeting. I was surprised to discover the variety of ways that Read 180 has been and will be implemented throughout the district. While I understand the necessity of site based decision making and the importance of a program that fits the needs of the students it serves, we have announced to our communities that we are teaching Read 180. That title means something. Anyone with Internet access will quickly discover from the Scholastic website that Read 180 is a 90 minute daily reading intervention. They back this up with research and a variety of ways to get to 90 minutes but the options all total 90. The reality is that within our district there are a variety of ways Read 180 is being taught. Some schools have replaced their ELA class with Read 180 but others have kept their ELA program in tact while trying to piece together minutes in a day that will come close to but not quite add up to 90. The result cannot help but be two very different experiences for the students and teachers alike.
If we as a district truly hope to close the achievement gap for these students, instruction in an ELA class in addition to the intervention is a piece that cannot be compromised. Research has shown time after time that successful interventions are a result of best teaching practices in a language arts class in addition to an intervention class. We know this. This is true of Reading Recovery, as well as our own RIS program and Soar to Success. It is tempting to think that Read 180 can do it all but the mathematical truth is that the growth a student will make in a year’s time in a 90 minute class cannot compare with that made in a 50 minute ELA class in addition to the 90 minute intervention.
What may appear to be a time issue, under closer investigation, quickly becomes a money issue. The elementary reading interventions in our district have been successful for two reasons, teachers were hired for the distinct purpose to work with students and classroom teachers and additional time has been dedicated to reading instruction. The reason middle schools are making choices that dilute the 90-minute Read 180 intervention program is that additional teachers have not been funded for the distinct purpose of teaching the intervention class. Money and time are the two variables in education that cannot be ignored. We cannot substitute 140 minutes of daily instruction in an ELA and intervention class for either a 90-minute stand-alone intervention or 120 minutes of an ELA and a compromised intervention class. Likewise, we can’t schedule an extra class for a teacher without affecting the rest of the school’s master schedule. There appears to be no other recourse than to hire teachers for the dedicated purpose of teaching the reading intervention class.
Reading interventions are by their very nature investments in both time and money. But more than that, they are an investment in our students’ futures. Teacher positions need to be funded for the purpose of this reading intervention so that the Read 180 program can be incorporated according to its design. I would love the opportunity to be a part of implementing a reading and writing curriculum that includes best teaching practices in both an ELA class as well as a 90-minute intervention class. I am hopeful that after analyzing the results of this first year of our secondary reading intervention, that we as a district will dedicate both the time and money necessary to give our students the best future possible.
Dear "Powers That Be,"
I would like to thank you both for the opportunity to be a part of the district implementation of Read 180. For a teacher, there is nothing like the feeling of knowing that you are involved in something that has the ability to change kids’ lives. It’s the reason we enter the teaching field in the first place and it sustains us throughout our careers.
On November 10, 2009 I attended a Read 180 meeting where we were given the time to sit down together and share our experiences, plan units, and meet in site based teams. It was an opportunity for the Read 180 teachers within our district to be able to discuss with each other our successes and challenges. This being the first year of implementation, there have been many hurdles to overcome. I have appreciated the support at both the local and district level.
Read 180 has not been my first experience with reading intervention programs. My introduction to the educational profession was as a first grade teacher where the teaching of reading is paramount. It wasn’t long before I began searching for a reading intervention and became involved in developing a first grade program for the Diocese of San Jose. So when the opportunity to be a part of a secondary reading intervention presented itself, I couldn’t resist. Part of that was curiosity about what a middle school reading intervention would look like and part of it was the desire to be involved in something life changing.
My experience with Read 180 has had its ups and downs. The greatest difficulty for my students and me has been time. Buchser has attempted to keep all the pieces in place in order to make a difference in our students’ lives. The pieces are many; scheduling a balanced academic curriculum for each student, maintaining the students in a regular English Language Arts class and somehow finding the time in the day to allocate for Read 180. The result has been that students are in a 50-minute ELA class as well as 70 minutes of Read 180.
With this in mind, I must admit that I learned a lot at the district meeting. I was surprised to discover the variety of ways that Read 180 has been and will be implemented throughout the district. While I understand the necessity of site based decision making and the importance of a program that fits the needs of the students it serves, we have announced to our communities that we are teaching Read 180. That title means something. Anyone with Internet access will quickly discover from the Scholastic website that Read 180 is a 90 minute daily reading intervention. They back this up with research and a variety of ways to get to 90 minutes but the options all total 90. The reality is that within our district there are a variety of ways Read 180 is being taught. Some schools have replaced their ELA class with Read 180 but others have kept their ELA program in tact while trying to piece together minutes in a day that will come close to but not quite add up to 90. The result cannot help but be two very different experiences for the students and teachers alike.
If we as a district truly hope to close the achievement gap for these students, instruction in an ELA class in addition to the intervention is a piece that cannot be compromised. Research has shown time after time that successful interventions are a result of best teaching practices in a language arts class in addition to an intervention class. We know this. This is true of Reading Recovery, as well as our own RIS program and Soar to Success. It is tempting to think that Read 180 can do it all but the mathematical truth is that the growth a student will make in a year’s time in a 90 minute class cannot compare with that made in a 50 minute ELA class in addition to the 90 minute intervention.
What may appear to be a time issue, under closer investigation, quickly becomes a money issue. The elementary reading interventions in our district have been successful for two reasons, teachers were hired for the distinct purpose to work with students and classroom teachers and additional time has been dedicated to reading instruction. The reason middle schools are making choices that dilute the 90-minute Read 180 intervention program is that additional teachers have not been funded for the distinct purpose of teaching the intervention class. Money and time are the two variables in education that cannot be ignored. We cannot substitute 140 minutes of daily instruction in an ELA and intervention class for either a 90-minute stand-alone intervention or 120 minutes of an ELA and a compromised intervention class. Likewise, we can’t schedule an extra class for a teacher without affecting the rest of the school’s master schedule. There appears to be no other recourse than to hire teachers for the dedicated purpose of teaching the reading intervention class.
Reading interventions are by their very nature investments in both time and money. But more than that, they are an investment in our students’ futures. Teacher positions need to be funded for the purpose of this reading intervention so that the Read 180 program can be incorporated according to its design. I would love the opportunity to be a part of implementing a reading and writing curriculum that includes best teaching practices in both an ELA class as well as a 90-minute intervention class. I am hopeful that after analyzing the results of this first year of our secondary reading intervention, that we as a district will dedicate both the time and money necessary to give our students the best future possible.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Student Report Cards
I have had one of the most interesting experiences of my career this week. My partner teacher does an activity with our students where they grade their classes. They give each class a letter grade and write a comment about how it is going for them. The comments have been fascinating to read, think about and discuss with the authors. We are all about being the best teachers we can be for each one of our students. Our job is to create a successful learning experience for each and every one of them, without concern for their specific abilities or attitudes. This is one of the greatest avenues possible for making that a reality. The comments had a very wide range. They went from "You're great" to "I love the stories about your dog" to "Thinking about what to write is hard but I've never been good at writing anyway" to "You talk too fast" to "I need you to check in with me." There were two that really challenged me; one could not back up his attack so it has been negated in my mind but the other one definitely called it as she saw it. Our conversation was one of the most frank discussions I've ever had with a student. The fallout is that I am much more aware of her needs. I look for her eye contact when directions on being given and know that is making me much more efficient. There is no longer the need to answer the endless stream of questions that quickly irritate me and make me appear "impatient" and "strict." The end result of this activity is that the connection to our students is better than ever. They know we really do care what they think and are willing to make changes in individual relationships so that everyone can be successful.
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