I Don't Really Think of Myelf as Adventurous

I often wonder how much of who I am today is a result of my Iowa rearing. My childhood is now a thing I think of as in long, long ago time but sometimes I have no other explanation for my view of life compared to those around me. This past weekend my two dear friends and I had reserved our calendars for our annual "girls' weekend." The three of us have a tradition now of going away for a weekend with the intention to mostly drink and talk and laugh. We all look forward to it and know that it has cemented our friendship in strange and wonderful ways. This year the plan was to hang out in the Healdsburg/Santa Rosa area. We had lovely hotel reservations and plans for lunch at Healdsburg Bar and Grill followed by some wine tasting.. Then the ominous Friday morning weather report suggested that the first storm of the season rolling through might result in 1-3 inches of rain in the north bay. My world view was to e-mail them both with some lighter-than-air comment that we should be prepared for rain and staying inside drinking fine wine and enjoying our fine friendship. Well the elder of the group somehow got worried about the rain and the "danger" of driving home in the imagined blinding storm. She somehow convinced the driver of the group that this was indeed dangerous and the plans came to a screeching halt. I returned to my classroom after lunch on Friday to a voice mail that I just couldn't quite fathom. No weekend away because it's going to rain? Huh? Is this a joke? My first mental response was that I have to find some new friends. Seriously! You're going to let a little rain put a stop to our annual tradition? I had no place to put this in my brain. So I sent a text expressing my sadness. Well, there were several more texts, e-mails and phone calls over the next few hours. But the end result was that we had a lovely Saturday lunch at the Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay and spent the night at The Grand Hotel in Sunnyvale. That's right - Sunnyvale. We, of course, had a wonderful time and laughed endlessly about the "storm." The only explanation I have come up with for my lack of fear in all this is that I was raised in Iowa. You just never know what will happen in the midwest. You walk out the door in the morning and you could be returning to anything that night - rain, sleet, ice, snow. Has that "ready for anything" view of the world become a part of my being or does life just not scare me? I don't have the answer to this one and I am still blown away at how one person's fear can rewrite a much anticipated weekend. But the good news is that if you're looking to stay in town locally, The Grand Hotel has free, yes, free drinks from 5-7 and free breakfast in the morning. You can spend the night in a little bungalow for hardly anything with your very own own kitchen, living room and bedroom. It definitely ended up being our cheapest weekend ever! And we had a lot of laughs, talked about everything under the sun, and drank some fine wine. I came back refreshed and feeling better than ever about life. But the question about fear and danger still nag at me. I don't really think of myself as adventurous and am curious about the things in life that seem to scare other people What are they missing because of what they think may happen?

Superman?

If it isn't Superman that can change things in the American educational system, who is going to save us? I saw Waiting For Superman over the weekend and it is still with me. My heart broke for those 5 kids and their families and I don't think I'll ever be the same again. I am a reader of almost anything about education so nothing in the movie was new or shocking to me. Perhaps it was just seeing it all laid out in one place that tore me apart. I have been embarrassed by my job on many instances but leaving that theater was a bit closer to humiliation than I have ever been before. Am I really a part of this system that knowingly chooses not to educate children, that protects the teachers while sacrificing the students and even the schools that work, stratifies them into those who will have college as an option and those who will not? Numbers don't lie. How do you deal with knowing the fact that there is only a 12% chance that a student who lives in a specific neighborhood will graduate high school and be equipped for college level courses? I don't work in a "bad" school but I am a part of a system that is broken. The problems appear too complex to fix from within but it seems that other people are able to do what we cannot. Charter schools are doing some incredible things with kids the public system has turned its back on. It is time to rephrase the statement that schools are bad because they are in bad neighborhoods. We have created bad neighborhoods out of bad schools. That is still a hard concept to wrap my head around. For 50 years I have believed what I have been told by the media, by police reports and by all sorts of books that have been written. I have worked in east San Jose and Tyler, Texas and seen it for myself. And I believed, truly believed that there was so little that could be done in the schools because of everything I saw in the neighborhood. Never did I think to tip that thought on its head and place the blame on the "man in the mirror." Now it is time to think about the possible. It is time to question my role as a teacher and who I serve. I have had 2 recurring thoughts over the past few days. One, that I am really good at teaching beginning readers. Perhaps I would be a stronger cog in the wheel back in primary. At least kids would have the first building block in place. And, second, I could easily see myself in a charter school. I am the teacher that is willing to teach longer and harder to be sure that kids succeed. Is this a fork in the road for me? Only time will tell. All I know is that every decision I make about teaching has now taken on greater importance. There is much to fix in this mess we have made of our school system. But I do believe that if everyone can simply put kids in the forefront, a huge improvement can be made. Yes, that means the removal of tenure and a serious re-evaluation of teacher evaluation. Let's get the bad ones out. Our kids and their future are too important to put in the hands of mediocrity or worse. It is time to stand up for kids.

The Thing About Teaching

The thing about teaching is that you never know when you're going to stumble and fall and in like manner you never know when your heart will skip a beat. Today, it just so happens that I had the pleasure of experiencing both ends of the spectrum.

Here is my favorite "Most Powerful Thing in the World" expository paragraph:

"A mother's love is the most powerful thing in the world. A mother is there for you from day one and will always be there for you even when she's gone. When you are little and trip and fall, she makes it better with her warm loving care. When you are five and it is your first day of school she cries because you are growing up. When you get home, her curiosity runs wild wondering how your day went. These are just a couple reasons why a mother's love is the most powerful thing in the world."

Sweet!

And this one has to come in second place...

"My dad is the most powerful thing in the world. He is really strong and has big hands. He sometimes scares people with his rough looking face. He can cook the most wonderful things in the world - beef stew - and sometimes he even smells like the food he cooks. What's great about my dad is that he can chug gallons and gallons of water. He is also smart because he can answer all of my questions. But he's not only good with strength, he's also good at cheering people up. That's why my dad is the most powerful thing in the world."

And there's this one which will only touch you if you know about the challenges of middle school.

"My family is the most powerful thing in the world. They protect me, help me and they comfort me. They sometimes help me if I am in trouble or I'm in a fight. They will just stop the fight like a referee. But the other thing is that my family won't stop until it's over. I don't really need to do anything wrong but if I do they've got my back. The other thing is that my family won't ever give up on me. My family is the most powerful thing in the world."

And, finally, the A+ paper...

"I believe that the most powerful things in the world would be persistence and strength. I honestly believe that with these two things you can overcome and achieve anything you put your mind to. I think that persistence and strength are important because if you have persistence, you will never quit trying. If you want something or want to reach a goal, you will prevail. With strength, you will be unstoppable and will refuse to listen to anything negative that other people say to you. As long as you know who you are, that's all you need. With these two important materials you will be unstoppable and able to achieve anything, which will lead you to a very successful future. That is why I think persistence and strength are the most powerful things in the world."

The Slump

I felt my first slump today. It's been a pretty crazy year so far but I was feeling so good about taking everything as it came until today. I love my class and was convinced that the third year in middle school was a turning point for me. Today was a department level ELL day and one thing just let to another and before I knew my head was pounding, my jaw was tightening and I was overcome with the need to leave the room. I considered going back into special ed and then mulled about the idea of running a day care and finally settled on retirement. Oh darn! I still have that pesky house payment. I guess I better get ready to ride the wave.