The question remains; what is the next right thing? I made the decision and then the decision changed. Sometimes discernment is me looking at life and making a choice based on what has happened. And sometimes discernment is the events changing me and I realize immediately that this reality must stop. And that is what has happened over the last few weeks. Work is work but at times it takes on a life of its own and I just ride along. But every time the roller coaster hits the peak, I have a moment to look out at the horizon and what I see scares me. In that fear comes the realization that this is not what I signed up for and I no longer have the skills necessary to do the work. When work invades my personal life and as I count the days since I have seen my children or grandchildren, I move past my ten fingers, something must change. I am hit in the face with the knowledge that the decision you made just a few weeks ago is no longer valid. No, this decision is not to be placed at the feet of my principal; it is mine to make. As much as I want to say yes, this one is a no. I choose life beyond the school walls. I choose the role of grandmother over administrator. I choose time - time to pray, time to write, time to be a friend and daughter/sister/mom/grandma. I, once again, choose retirement.
