Memories of Thanksgiving: A Note to My Children

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday and by always, I mean my entire lifetime. I don’t remember a year when I didn’t look forward to the fourth Thursday of November. Now as I look back through the Thanksgivings of my life, they unroll like a beautiful scroll before me. Beginning in Iowa, the child that was me is wide eyed and mesmerized by the sights and smells of my Grandma’s little kitchen. I am surrounded by the embodiment of love and family and all that is good. Growing up, Thanksgiving took on more and more importance; I looked forward to it more than Christmas or my birthday. It was a holiday that filled all of my senses and never ever disappointed me. Once I was married, I kept trying to recreate that bigger than life event for the two of you but never quite fulfilled the goal.  But today, as I look back, and think about the happiness that surrounds this day, the vision that lingers for me is in my kitchen on College Ave. the year I insisted that we were not going to the Ryans; we would stay home for Thanksgiving.  This was a meal that I couldn’t wait to cook for my family.  It was two days of preparations - tart cranberry sauce the way Dave like it, Grandma’s sage stuffing, and pumpkin pie on Wednesday and all the rest on Thursday morning - turkey in the oven by 6 AM, vegetable sides - yams, green beans, and mashed potatoes - finishing up with gravy in that giant black polkadot roasting pan.  But this memory is not so much about the food as it is what’s going on in the background.  My two kids running around the house playing and laughing and reminding me of what is important.  It is deep abiding love.  It is family.  It is being together.  

Through the years, Thanksgiving has become less about the food and more about the thanks.  I have come to understand and appreciate the importance of taking a day for a  long pause to reflect on all that has been given and to be deeply grateful.  Today as I take that pause for gratitude, there is no doubt that my greatest gift has been the two of you.  Because of you, I have learned a love that leaves one searching and lacking the words to say all that is in your heart.  Because of you I understand the true meaning of giving and receiving love.  Because of you I know the value of time well spent in the presence of those we cherish.  This, above all, is something that I will never take for granted.  This year, my heart aches to touch and hold and hug you; those long and deep hugs that go on and on because you just can’t let go. In your place, I can only replay the Thanksgivings that we  have shared together through the years; the Thanksgivings with Grandma and Grandpa Ryan, the Thanksgivings that became Maria’s birthday parties, and even the Thanksgiving that we shared on the floor of the duplex on Highland Ave with food from The Good Earth. You see, no matter where we have been, it’s always been about the gathering, the bringing together of people who love each other. And there is no one I love and cherish more than the two of you.  

Love,

Mom

Giving Thanks

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday and by always, I mean my entire lifetime.  I don’t remember a year when I didn’t look forward to the fourth Thursday of November.  To me, it was what it meant to be an Allen, a Christian, a good person.  It was one day set aside to say thank you, to pause and just recognize all that we have been given.  This year, as I take that pause, my mind is on you, my parents, and this gift that we have been given, this gift of being together.

We have been given the gift of time.  Time to be able to enjoy one another’s company; time to get to know each other, once and for all; time to laugh and cry together.

We have been given the gift of support.  You have helped me financially, physically, and academically.  With your assistance I have bought 2 houses, I have removed citrus trees, and built a sunset patio.  There isn’t a time when I see you that I don’t learn something new.  It might be a new recipe, a Florida plant, or the many purposes of a good set of pliers.  

We have been given the gift of understanding.  Conversations around the table have led me to a deeper level of comprehending your life together - your life as a young couple, as parents, and through the years to your 71st year as husband and wife.    Through many of these conversations I have learned that our views of the world are not that different.  We all believe in the importance of doing what’s right, working hard, and helping one another.

Each of these gift is priceless.  But the greatest gift of this year, greater than all of these, has been the opportunity of giving back.  An adult child’s greatest reward is being given the opportunity to help his or her parents.  And that is exactly where I have found myself this year.  The gift of life that you gave to me 66 years ago, complete with food, diapers, loving lectures, and wings to fly cannot be repaid.  But a few months ago, I was presented with the chance to put a couple dings in that debt.  There are no words that can explain how honored I have been to give back to you all that was freely given to me.  It may have been driving to Publix or the doctor, pulling weeds or mulching, making the bed or helping with the dishes; but it all mattered.  It was all the embodiment of love, it was and is saying thank you Mom and Dad; thank you for all that you gave to me.  May these few gifts of repayment say to you everything my words cannot.  Thank you.  I love you.