Monday, August 19, 2019

Saying So Long

Yesterday I saw my friend, Ralph.  Ever since our divorce, I have referred to him as my friend rather than my ex-husband.  But I was in a situation yesterday where I tried to explain that I was Maria's mom and when confusion remained, I had to say I'm the ex-wife.  Yes, I went to see my dying ex-husband yesterday.  I am adjusting to that phrase.  We never had a typical divorce and were able to remain friends.  Despite the current fog that he is experiencing, he knew who I was and remembered afterwards that I had been there to visit him.  That's a huge thing.  But we have always gone back to to the fact that we know each other better than almost anyone in the world.  We lived together for 23 years.  I was married longer than I was with my parents or have been divorced.  We shared our lives together and still have a very strong connection.  I am extremely sad to be in a situation where I am saying good-bye or see you later or so long to this man.  I will see him again today and tomorrow and swallow up all the moments that I can with him.  In the end, he will know that what we had was good and true and something that some people never experience.  Speaking only for myself,  I loved him with everything in me.  So saying good-bye is something that I HAVE to do not want to do.  It is heart breaking and memories of this week will remain that way for the rest of my life.  His future remains uncertain but I leave him with my prayers of gratitude and thanksgiving for being such a loving and molding presence in my life.  Thank you Ralph.  Let God now wrap you in his loving embrace.  Peace.

1 comment:

PattyO said...

Beautiful words. It is wonderful that your love and faithfulness brings understanding of this choice. Blessings and prayers for the joy of these moments of the journey.