Tuesday, August 27, 2019

It is Finished

The day is gray and rainy here in sunny Florida and that is as it should be.  Ralph Victor Giannini has passed on.  The race is done.  Ralph is gone much too soon but he did it on his terms.  Even when he couldn't speak the words he did it his way.  He had no greater fear than doing nothing, and worse yet not being able to do anything.  And that is exactly the situation he found himself in 10 days ago.  I am blessed that I was able to see him before he left the earth.  I will honor what we shared in our final visits as long as I live.  It is the ever present reminder of all the ways we can communicate love and caring - not in words but in looks, held eye contact, the touch of a hand on your arm or your cheek, the nod of your head that says you understand even when you can't communicate. Despite the legalities, we were tethered.  As I look back on our life together, it is clear that our love was deep and true.  It wasn't enough to sustain the daily rigors of marriage but we gave it our best shot.  I don't regret anything about our relationship - the love, the laughter, the kids, the chaos, not even the decline of what was left.  It is in the loving and the losing that we learn what life is really about.  Wisdom comes from loss.  And so today, as the rain comes so do the tears, the tears that would have been there no matter what.  I cry for him, for us, for our kids and our grandkids, and for all his students who have lost their mentor and greatest cheerleader they will ever know. 

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