Head games

I have finally figured out why I don't like curriculum coaches. The whole experience makes me focus on the negative side of my teaching. The missing pieces. The way to improve. If coaching is supposed to "help" my teaching why do I feel like c-r-a-p when they leave. I have never met a literacy coach that I didn't like. They are all very friendly and smile so sweetly when they come in the room. They are extremely knowledgeable and have great ideas but after their suggestions I beat myself up because it's all stuff I know. I just don't have the perspective or energy to think them up! Then I feel like I have to invite them in again to show them how much I have improved. I know this is messed up. Coaches are trained to help kids through the teacher. But the reality is the teacher is the communicator between coach and student. How can the teacher feel anything more than inadequate when suggestions are made to help the student? I spend the next few days repeating my mantra. I am a good teacher. I am a good teacher. There was a time that I thought I wanted to be a coach. I don't think that's any longer in the stars for lots of reasons. One day at a time, as I continue to repeat I am a good teacher. I am a good teacher.