TGIF

I feel a little too tired to post and not quite tired enough to sleep so I guess I'll give posting a shot. Here is my aha for the day. Some of my issues in the classroom are kid related. Although I love my class we do have some issues with transitions and everyone following directions. It occurred to me today that perhaps the reason we are 5 minutes late for every recess and lunch is not because I can't get my act together but because there are about 5 kids who are on their own time frame. They can't seem to put anything away, drag themselves to the carpet or even look at the person who is speaking. Time to back up and punt. I have changed my schedule again for the umpteenth time - not easy to do when coordinating with vision assistance, science lab, library, computer lab and PE. Yes I do realize that today is the end of the first trimester. I just refuse to give up on trying to make things work. So as a result, my Friday PE just flew out the window in exchange for science/social studies. Today we did the end of a 2 period jigsaw on the "first Thanksgiving." It was nice to deal with a little curriculum meat. But I have to admit I really missed PE. No, it wasn't the exercise, it was just being outside. At the end of the day I just felt like something was missing. No sunshine! And there won't be PE on Monday either. Time to get ready for the Holiday Performance. When I taught 1st grade I always thought it would be better to do the December performance rather than the spring one because the kids were out of it anyway. I will try to remember that in the next few weeks. I am proud to announce that as I worked on my lesson plans today, I actually cut things out of our upcoming 2 day week rather than try to fit things in. No homework, no spelling, no daily language or math practice. Maybe I'll be able to teach a little money after all. Which leads to a confounding question? Why do kids today have so much trouble counting money? As I child I loved taking out my money and counting it over and over again. But perhaps these kids don't have piggy banks. They probably get theirs in the form of $20 bills from the ATM machine. Sad. Next on the agenda is telling time. A kindergarten dad leaving daycare stopped by with his child the other day asking if they could interrupt me to use our classroom clock to "tell time" on. How long before analogs are completely obsolete? Will anyone know the meaning of time without the hour and minute hands? OK. I'm fried. When I start writing about things lost it's time for bed.

Coming out of my funk

Today seemed a bit brighter. I have been mild to moderately depressed about my teaching ability or at least what the state and so many others expect of me. It all started a couple weeks ago when I began my "homework" for the Noyce Advanced Study Group. This is a small group of teachers led by a literacy coach to focus on writing workshop. There was a time when I thought I was a pretty darn good writing teacher and it wasn't that long ago. At any rate we have taken a 2-prong focus: mini lessons and conferencing. Any WW teachers out there will quickly realize that those 2 pieces constitute the majority of any writing workshop. After doing my reading on mini lessons I revamped things a bit, added a couple missing pieces and tried to carry on. Then I decided it would be a good idea for the local coach to meet me and my kids so I invited her in for a reading lesson. (I used to be a pretty good reading teacher too.) I managed to get myself over that one and then took on my Advanced Study homework on conferences. My reflection? I suck. Yeah, so now I'm trying to update and improve those missing pieces too. This one is not so easy! My conferencing is better but they are taking much longer! Now I'm seeing 2 maybe 3 kids on a good day. Quality not quantity. The next zinger came at the faculty meeting this week as we were going over Science scores. Yep. They're in the toilet. So now the district wants excellence in reading, writing, math and science. Sure, no problem. Sign me up to teach language arts in middle school. I would gladly leave behind the math, science, PE, and even art. But the day wasn't over. I then received my STAR scores from last year. Yeah, not so good. The day ended with a very long chat with some co-teachers about our profession. I don't think any of us would ever leave but we can certainly understand why people do. It was interesting to note how some of us take these number presentations to heart and others can walk away secure in the knowledge that they are already doing every thing they possibly can. That isn't my view. I am always thinking about ways to improve my teaching. But this one has really made me stop and think. What is the cost? What am I willing to give up for the mere swing of a pendulum? What will my kids benefit? Is it a number on a test score or is it something that will carry them through the future? I've been at this for 16 years now and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. By now I thought it would. The district, the state, the federal government, it seems like the universe all has an opinion about how I should do my job and what my kids should know when they walk out of room 9 for the last time. Now hear this. I am the professional and I know a thing or two about kids and learning. Just let me teach. And wouldn't it be great if we could enjoy it in the process? So I started my day today with a fabulous read aloud - I am still a pretty good reader! I saw my guided reading groups, taught a little spelling (with humor infused), took a few minutes to play word wall games and was feeling OK by recess. It is time to let go of all the pressure I allow to be put on my shoulders. I am a teacher and most days am a pretty good one.

Head games

I have finally figured out why I don't like curriculum coaches. The whole experience makes me focus on the negative side of my teaching. The missing pieces. The way to improve. If coaching is supposed to "help" my teaching why do I feel like c-r-a-p when they leave. I have never met a literacy coach that I didn't like. They are all very friendly and smile so sweetly when they come in the room. They are extremely knowledgeable and have great ideas but after their suggestions I beat myself up because it's all stuff I know. I just don't have the perspective or energy to think them up! Then I feel like I have to invite them in again to show them how much I have improved. I know this is messed up. Coaches are trained to help kids through the teacher. But the reality is the teacher is the communicator between coach and student. How can the teacher feel anything more than inadequate when suggestions are made to help the student? I spend the next few days repeating my mantra. I am a good teacher. I am a good teacher. There was a time that I thought I wanted to be a coach. I don't think that's any longer in the stars for lots of reasons. One day at a time, as I continue to repeat I am a good teacher. I am a good teacher.

My challenge

... student with no motivation
... notes sent home
... loss of sleep
... wondering what to do
... talk to teachers
... set up SST
... Mom nods
... Mom says there's nothing that motivates him
... more talking
... Mom cries
... Mom says he's just like his father He's never going to amount to anything He's going to purposely fail tests in middle school just like his father did so he doesn't have to work in school
... more talking
... plans are put in motion
... Mom shows up at assembly an hour later ready to talk
... student is totally "on" all day
... sticker chart
... smiling boy
... Legos reward ready
I love teaching