Sister Molly came into my life a little less than a year ago. She had been recommended to me as a perfect spiritual guide match by two people who I deeply respected but when I did the search for her online, my first reaction was "But she is so old." This is not me being hyperbolic. Molly joined the Sisters of Holy Names of Jesus and Mary in 1955, the year after I was born! I later learned that she joined at the age of 17 and had just celebrated her Jubilee - 70th anniversary. I searched a bit more but kept coming back to her photo and figured, what the heck; I'll give her a shot. We chatted on the phone and even over the phone lines all that came through was love; love for you, love of Jesus, and love just to be alive. Our first meeting only accentuated that reaction. The shock for me was that so much love could reside and exude but this tiny woman. We shared a love of Catholic education and midwest roots and that was all that was needed for our conversation starter. Our one hour scheduled meetings were always one and a half and we could have easily gone longer.
I quickly embraced all the benefits of having an older spiritual companion. She had seen and heard a lot. There was nothing I could say that would surprise her as I breezed through my life story. She wept with me through the hard parts and laughed with joy at my triumphs. Each meeting would end with a blessing, prayer, or assignment and I always left feeling whole and complete. I had the feeling that she was as much a therapist as a spiritual companion. She never failed to challenge me for more; she was not Jesuit but she definitely had a handle on the Magis. She led me through the work challenges of last year and prepared me as no one else could have for the pitfalls and grandeur of the Camino Ignaciano.
I always knew that I was loved by Molly and hence by Jesus and all the other saints with whom she was clearly in deep relationship with. I would throw out a quote and she would immediately call out his/her name and give me a new snippet of the saint's life story. She was a goldmine of information and never seemed to be at a loss for words or ways to guide me forward. She gave me great strategies for discerning what was next for me in life and seemed almost as curious as how my story would go as I was. She was looking forward to my next steps in starting the Pierre Favre program next month and my trip to the Holy Land in May.
The one thing that neither of us anticipated last week as we scheduled our next appointment after my first Pierre Favre class is that she wouldn't be here. My heart shattered as I slowly absorbed the news of her impending passing. I immediately felt untethered and could not imagine my next steps without her cheering me on from the sidelines. But in ways that only Sister Molly could, I felt again the showering of her love of me and of Jesus and of all that is waiting for me. I am eternally grateful for the time we had together. I learned better how to use prayer in discernment, started to get a grasp of the Trinity, and openly shared with her my devotion to the Eucharist. I will miss her terribly but there is no one better that I can carry in my heart as God leads me forward to the next right thing. Thank you, Sister Molly.
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