Life in the Time of Social Distancing

Covid-19/Coronavirus is alive and well and making its presence known here and around the world.  I find myself yearning for a governor that overreacts rather than plays down the danger.  Florida is mellow.  Florida is low key.  Florida is in reality, a beach town lived out in 3 million people.  I spent way too much time on the west coast earthquake/fire country not to be overreactive.  So my days are the experience of being non-dualistic.  I'm worried.  I'm hopeful.  I know this has an end date.  And then I return to I'm worried.  I am not scared.  I am not fearful.  But I am worried.  I worry about being too relaxed.  I worried about my elderly and immunocompromised parents.  I worry about all those I love - my kids, my grandkids, my friends (we're also elderly), and everyone I love and hold dear. 

The days are long.  It is finally the end of March but I turned the page of the calendar yesterday because I was simply tired of looking at March.  Now I know that will happen again in April because the nation is on CDC guidelines of social distancing until April 30.  In my heart I know that may be extended to the middle of May.

I try diligently to follow a schedule.  It goes like this.  My regular morning routine remains intact with the addition of a second cup of coffee because I know how long the days are.  A slower start helps me make believe that today will go more quickly than yesterday.  So it is coffee/morning news, breakfast, newspaper/crossword puzzle, morning walk, gardening.  Then it's on to lunch, reading/writing although honestly my mind is in no place to do any writing on Ralph's memorial so that is on hold until who knows when.  Around 3:00 I begin to struggle.  I'm tired of reading, it's too hot to walk again and it's too early for happy hour so sometimes it's another cup of coffee and another trip around the yard.  It's my wandering time until 5:00 finally rolls around again.  THEN! Happy Hour, news, dinner, and my TV time for the evening.  I never struggled with filling my days when I first retired so this feels much more like when I was fired and I felt aimless.  And then the worries return.  Are my parents OK?  Are my kids and grandkids OK? What about my friends and the rest of my family?

I am deeply grateful for my brother in these days.  It started out as a joke but he checks in with me every day.  I love texting my kids and friends, FaceTiming with my loved ones, just staying connected.  Those of us who live alone tend to feel a slight loss of gravity.  There's no one else to ground us.  So it is only meals and routines that keep us bound to the earth. 

I think.  I pray.  I read.  I listen.  May we all come through this alive, healthy, and loving. 

The Natural Rhythm

As I write this, the earth is on the cusp of a new day dawning; Day 7 of America's 15 day social distancing plan to stem the Coronavirus.  As life slows to a crawl across this nation and many others, we find ourselves slowing to the pace of nature.  The birds and insects sing up and down the sun and we finally take note of the beat of the earth.  The light of the stars become part of the evening entertainment in the absence of theaters, and nature calls us to come out and be one with it.  We are more aware, more sentient than we have ever been before.  The heat of the sun on our skin or the gentle breeze moving through our hair forces us to take note of where we are.  We slow to appreciate everything and everyone around us.  Our minds turn to meditation and prayer to reframe this new existence and somehow live within it.  We move inward spiritually and physically and it feels right.  There is peace here.  We allow ourselves the time to think the deep thoughts, the what ifs of our existence.  And we are grateful.  Grateful for those we love and the technology that allows us to connect in new and more personal ways.  The other senses have taken over for touch. Eye contact and voice intonation are in charge now. We take time to reconnect those binds that may have frayed over the years.  In an instant, we call or text those who cross our minds; the mentors, the co-workers, the cousins and distant relatives.  That connection takes precedence over the mundane, the laundry, the dishes.  Today, this day, becomes everyone's reality.  Suddenly we are all mindful of this moment in time.  As we confront this virus in the only way we know how, we separate ourselves physically but support each other generously in love and solidarity.  Through it all, the outside world reminds us of how little we need to bloom and thrive - light, food, water, and our flock.  May we find and hold dear the beauty with which this dilemma has graced us as we listen to the earth, join in its rhythm, and find peace in the beat of its heart.

We, The Elderly

The Coronavirus/Covid 19 is running rampant.

Every day there are press briefings.  I always think that the information will make me feel better but it rarely does.  California, New York, Illinois, and Connecticut are now on "shelter in place."  I can feel it in the Florida air.  It is coming this way.   It is all the reminder of our mortality.  I am  now considered "elderly" as is my sister, brother, and most of my friends.  We are all now at risk, susceptible, and/or compromised.  And so are my parents.  We are looking at two generations that are now in danger or dying. 

And so what faces me now is the reality of living in Florida close to my parents and thinking of ways to keep us all, all safe.  While I think of them first, my health and general well-being quickly follows that initial thought.  How do I protect them?  How do I take care of them when they know they have already survived so much - polio, small pox, chicken pox, mumps?  I want to be the voice of reason without instilling the fear that I feel in the pit of my stomach.  How do I protect myself?  Hand washing is now part of my daily routine - when I wake up, after my shower (I know how silly that is), before I eat, after I eat...)  There is now no reason too ridiculous not to wash my hands. 

I find little humor in any of the virus or shelter in place jokes.  I do see the positive.  Everyone is inside so our water and air has never been cleaner.  I spend more time in prayer and happy thoughts and that is a very good place to be.  I know and respect the value of being outside for my morning walks or gardening.  Life is slower.  Life is simpler.  My brother checks in with me every day.  I love that.  He is my person.  He is the voice of reason and reassures me that I am right to be afraid.  So now we venture forth in this new reality.  Staying in. staying clean and staying connected.