My Life List

A life list is a little like a bucket list only bigger.  It can include anything that fits you and your dreams. Here is my list as it stands today.  However, this is a work in progress, as is everything else in my life.

Places I  Want to Go
Mayan ruins (February 2006)
Italy (June 2007)
Alaska (July 2010)
Eiffel Tower - half done; I still want to go up the elevator (2010 thanks to Bill Carter!)
San Juan Islands August 2016
Stonehenge June 2014
Ireland June 2014
Greece
Pyramids in Egypt
The fall leaves in the northeast with my sister
Machu Picchu
Cuba
Natchez Trail April 2014
Australia
Catalina - don't know why I haven't been there yet (July 2015)
Mesa Verde - again!

Things I  Want to Do With My Life
Be a mom (1977, 1979)
Teach(1990)
Publish something (2020)

Volunteer in my grandchild's classroom
Work in a plant nursery

Things I Want to Do for Fun
Hike part of the John Muir Trail (August 2000 - Mist Trail to Vernal Falls)
Snorkel(2006 - Mexico)

Walk a half marathon(October 2009 - San Jose Rock and Roll Half Marathon)

Run a 5K (June 3, 2012 See Jane Run - Alameda, California)
Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge - why haven't I done this?(July 28, 2012)
Ride in a hot air balloon (October 13, 2012 Santa Rosa, California)
Go white water rafting
Vacation with my grandchildren - this is still one of my favorite memories of my grandparents June 2016
Build something out of wood
Hike the Grand Canyon
Make a souffle - I don't think I like them but it seems to be the apex of bakers
Ride on the back of my brother's motorcycle (SOLD 2023)
Drive a stick shift
See my grandchildren graduate
Look in the mirror with my fitness pants on and not see the side bulge at the top of my thighs April 2014
Learn to knit
Bike Napa
Learn to speak French
Kayak June 2014
Carve a pumpkin that I grew from seed - maybe this fall
Take a cooking class in a foreign country Italy June 2015
Step foot in all 50 states - I don't have many to go
Zip line somewhere - I had the chance in Alaska but was too scared Santa Cruz Mountains June 2016
See the Aurora Borealis

Things I Want to Do for My Spiritual Growth
Follow through on a gratitude journal (January 2013)
Get better at breathing through yoga April 2013
Conquer meditation June 2014
Find a place of worship that feeds my spirit October 2015
Answer the question "Who am I?" without a title

Living a Simpler Life

I miss my blog.  I often think about blogging and then my mind goes a little blank.  When I was teaching, things would happen and I would say to myself, "Hmmm.... I think I want to write about that later."  And I would.  It was rare if I didn't post at least once a week.  In this new life, I just feel so content.  I hardly ever think about things that are bothering me.  My writing has always been about issues that I couldn't resolve any other way.  I find myself just sort of floating through life now.  There are still things happening that aren't all sunshine and rainbows but nothing big.  I'm not dealing with adolescent angst or parents that just don't get it.  There are no politics at play here.  I have issues throughout my work day but we deal with them and they are gone.  Poof.  They don't stay in the back of my head irritating me the way they used to.  I know that part of it is being home.  I love being here, surrounded with everything I love.  I can do whatever I need to do when I need to do it.  There is no, "when I get home, I need to..." going on in my head.  It is calm and peaceful. 

This is a simple life and I'm clearly not bothered by things the way I used to be.  But why is it that I have so little to write about?  That certainly wasn't true of Buddha or Thoreau.  They removed themselves from the world and wrote about deep and spiritual topics.  Maybe I'm just not that deep.  Maybe when you remove all the chaos of the outside work world, I'm a lot like my grandfather and simply take each day as it comes.  Or maybe this is part of growing up and no longer being bothered by the little things that used to overwhelm me.

I love writing and I miss it now that the topics don't seem to show themselves.  Perhaps it's time for me to take out my heart map and just write about things I care about.  Writing from the point of view of love and gratitude rather than the kid or parent that ticked me off could be interesting.  Let's just see what comes up...

Fitness Update

OK.  Progress is being made.  So much progress that I am hopeful that this will be the last post about my physical woes for a long long time.  Yes, I'm getting older and yes, there is pain involved.  So let's get over it and focus on the positive.  I continue to walk 2 or 3 times a week.  Sometimes I am bad and I run.  I am uber-aware of my SI joint and stop when there is the slightest twinge of anything - tightness, pain, anything.  This past week I put in a 5 mile walk and met my goal of a 12 minute pace.  I don't know why that was important to me beyond the fact that 12 was less than 13 and I'm bored with 13! 

My chiropractor advised me to do some yoga, swim and bike.  She will be proud when I tell her at my next visit  that I'm doing all three. 

Yoga - I found a yoga studio close-by and have been going weekly.  I like it but in all honesty, it is getting expensive.  I have also found some great yoga shows that I am taping and doing on my own at home.  The beauty of it is that I can watch it, replay it and do it again.  That works for someone like me who competes with herself to do it and do it right. 

Swimming - I struggled to figure this one out.  I could go to the senior center 3 blocks from my house but our hours only coincide on Saturday mornings.  I could go to the public pools but do I really want to expose these thighs to previous students I have taught that I may run into?  I could go to the Y but I quite frankly don't trust the water there.  I know how many people are in that pool and what they may have done while they were there!  I could join a private pool but once again, the ugly money thing raises its head.  So yesterday, I went to the senior center and was very pleased.  There were lots of pudgy women like myself and the payoff was worth it.  The bonus is that I am working on my lung capacity - one of the things that got all this fitness stuff started.  A few months ago, all I wanted to do was figure out how to run without running out of air.  Well, it looks like swimming will deal with the breathing thing.

Biking - This morning I went on my first real bike ride since last summer.  I chose Coyote Creek Trail because I have never done it (remember, I am easily bored) and I had heard from a friend what a beautiful place it is.  Imagine my pleasure when I realized that I now own a car that will hold a bike either direction, vertically or horizontally.  No dismantling the wheel and reassembling necessary.  So off I went to Coyote Creek Park.  I put in 14 miles in 1 1/2 hours.  That sounds pretty good to me but I have no idea if it is or not. 

That's the great thing about this cross training thing.  I don't become obsessed with time and distance because I am changing it up all the time.    In yoga, I'm just trying to get through the stretches without pain.  In the pool I am focused completely on my lungs.  Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I swam competitively as a child.  I don't remember struggling to breathe!  And on the bike, I'm thinking about the pain in my butt.  I've been told that will pass.  If not, I foresee a new bike seat or some padded shorts in my future.

So that is the state of things.  Through exercise and yoga, I am strengthening my muscles to hold my joints and bones.  There is pain now and then but nothing I can't handle.  I am aging and evidently that is just something that is going to hurt.  I still feel healthy and give thanks every single day when I wake up and am able to get out of bed.  Perhaps the little twinges are just a quiet reminder that I'm alive.  I love challenging myself and meeting the challenge.  And I love that I have people in my life who can support me and help me figure out ways around the pain.  That seems to be what this stage is all about; challenges I set for myself and friends and family that cheer me on.  So here's to finding new ways to exercise so that I can remain healthy.

A Lovely Mother's Day

I am in an amazing place in life.  My children appreciate me for who I am.  They respect what I have done and what I am doing.  Many people live their whole lives without coming to that point.  I just had one of my best Mother's Days ever. 

I started the day by crying through a blog post of my daughter's.  She said everything any mother would wish for her child to say as she became a mother herself.  The funny thing to me is that I distinctly remember watching her as a new mom 2 years ago and thinking that she is so much better at this than I ever was!  It's all in the perspective. 

I met my son for coffee and we had a great conversation.  It is so good just to have time to sit and talk.  We talked about school and work and relationships and movies and politics.  Those are the talks I love.  They flow in and out and when you're done, you say, that was good. Later in the day, I received a delivery of a fruit arrangement from him.  So thoughtful and delicious. 

I spent the afternoon in one of my favorite places in the world - Central Park in Santa Clara.  It is full of mothering memories for me.  What better place to be on Mother's Day than with your child and grandchildren in the place that you loved as a mom?  We picnicked, walk around the pond, and hung out in the playground while Callie played.  An amazing afternoon. 

My heart is full as I write this.  Mother's Day hasn't always been my favorite day on the calendar.  Some of them have been hard - that's the only word for it.  But this one was definitely a good one.  I am loved.  I am respected.  I am appreciated for all that I have done.  That feels good.  I am thrilled that my children are able to say thank you and that I am in a place where I can graciously accept it and know that we are all better when we take the time to speak what is in our hearts.  I'm not a fan of these "Hallmark Holidays" but I am grateful that it gives us the opportunity to say I love you.  

The Walking/Running Thing

The past month has taught me things about my personality that I would never have known any other way.  As much as I have told myself, I can't run, given the right situation, I can't keep myself from running.  I am not, I repeat, I am not a competitive person.  I stay as far away as I can from competitive sports.  Anything I do, I do alone.  Walk, Swim, Yoga, Bike.  Those are all things you do for the most part alone.  But the reality is that when I am in a group walking/running situation, I run.  Two weeks ago I did the Big Sur 5K.  It was my first test.  My goal was to do a 13 minute pace which would have been a 39 minute walk.  However, at the .5 mile mark what loomed in front of me was a hill, and not a small hill.  My head immediately told my body - no way you're doing a 13 minute mile, you better start running.  So from time to time throughout the 5K, when the urge hit me, I ran.  I was happy with my ending 38 minute time.  But within an hour, I was in pain, a pain that I couldn't seem to stretch out.  I knew I had done too much but the truth is that I didn't really care.  I still believed, no matter the evidence to the contrary, that I could do whatever I set my mind to.  A week later I was in the chiropractor's office learning more about my body and its weird makeup.  It turns out that I am definitely out of alignment, the kind of out of alignment the causes real pain just in lying down on a hard surface.  We messed a bit with her skeleton and I got it.  Bone on bone hurts.  OK.  I'm done running.  For the next week and a half on my walks, I really did walk.  No running.  At all.  Then on Saturday I did another 5K.  I knew 30 minutes before the race that I wasn't going to be able to walk.  I'm not sure if it's the energy I feel before these races or it's just my hardheadedness.  I walked and I ran, I walked and I ran.  End result; another 38 minute 5K.  But the sad thing was that I wasn't happy about it.  38?  38?  Again!  Shouldn't I be getting better?  Shouldn't I be getting faster?  I was getting better because this one didn't hurt.  But the reality is that nothing is ever going to change in my skeleton.  I can't untwist my spine.  I can't lower my left hip so that it's in alignment with my right.  All I can do is say good-bye to races.  My brain will never let this stuff go.  So I will do a 5K next month and a few 10Ks, followed hopefully by my last half marathon in October.  Then I promise to act my age.  I will walk.