Flashes of the Past

In this new life with toddlers I am constantly catching myself in moments of deja vu. There will just be a funny little feeling and I'll realize that I have done this before. It is accompanied with feelings of contentment or sometimes exhaustion. I am momentarily confused until I take the time to think about what I'm doing.

When I have my "light" days, we try to get out of the house. Sometimes that is a wagon walk and sometimes it is a short trip to the park. Our walks usually include a visit to one of the fountains in the area. There's just something about water and kids. I vividly remember frequently taking my own children to the fountain at the post office. A trip to post office always included time to put our hands in the water and walk the perimeter several times. Dave also wanted to dig for the pennies that had been dropped there but these kids haven't been allowed that adventure yet. Walking the blocks to the post office I often feel like I am stepping in my own footprints from the past. Everything feels the same - the excitement that the kids feel when the moment their hands hit the water, the fun of making hand prints along the bricks, the fear I have that one will eventually fall in, the risk of walking the wall once, twice, three times until I finally say that it's time to go which is followed by sighs of disappointment. We leave by way of Monroe Street so we can see the Ball Fountain by the bus stop. Then we head for home and they talk about it all the way there.

Last week we took out the Memory game for the first time. The big kids and I played around with the cards and I had the strangest feeling about it all. Then I remembered how Dave loved playing with Memory cards. He would play it over and over again until no one else was interested in continuing the game. Whenever I would ask what he wanted to play, he would choose Memory. That was a memory that I would have thought was lost forever.

I love reliving these moments of motherhood. They always bring a smile and some kind of crazy warmth to my heart. I was blessed to be able to hang out with my kids before they headed off to school and now I am double blessed to be able to live it all a second time.