Summer to School

There are all kinds of differences between summer and the school year but I think that I may have discovered one that affects a whole bunch of the rest of them. It is mindfulness. Mindfulness is connected to living in the moment and I am an expert at that when I am on vacation from school. Every day begins with an awareness of what I want to do today, followed by the question, "Is that what I really want to do?" The day unfolds and changes are made as needed. I either change the itinerary or re-evaluate the importance of the project at hand. The day ends when I decide that I have had enough. Of course none of that is possible in the work world. There is simply a list of things that need to be done, have to be done. The only variable is the priority of the items. As opening day gets closer and closer some of those things either move up or down on the list of priorities and boom! before you know it, we are anticipating lines of kids outside the door. So in the days before school starts I have the constant feeling of being lost in my work. I look at the clock and have no idea where the past half hour, 45 minutes, hour just went. Partly I have the feeling that all that time was spent on trivial paper work, nothing of value and partly I am just disoriented by not knowing where I am in space and time. It is such a dramatic shift from my summer of leisure and it's not a valuable use of my time. I'm not actually teaching or working with kids and making a difference in anyone's life. So all of a sudden I am out of summer and thrown into school with no idea of where I am. I feel lost and overwhelmed and I am grieving the loss of being in charge of my own life. Mindfulness. That is what I am searching for now. Just knowing what I'm doing and the importance of the minutes as they tick by. And that as each job is finished I take a moment to say, "Nice, check that one off the list and let's move on to the next." It is simply a slowing down and breathing and acknowledging that, ye,s this mindless paper work is important, it is all part of this thing called teaching which I am called to do.