Summer to School

There are all kinds of differences between summer and the school year but I think that I may have discovered one that affects a whole bunch of the rest of them. It is mindfulness. Mindfulness is connected to living in the moment and I am an expert at that when I am on vacation from school. Every day begins with an awareness of what I want to do today, followed by the question, "Is that what I really want to do?" The day unfolds and changes are made as needed. I either change the itinerary or re-evaluate the importance of the project at hand. The day ends when I decide that I have had enough. Of course none of that is possible in the work world. There is simply a list of things that need to be done, have to be done. The only variable is the priority of the items. As opening day gets closer and closer some of those things either move up or down on the list of priorities and boom! before you know it, we are anticipating lines of kids outside the door. So in the days before school starts I have the constant feeling of being lost in my work. I look at the clock and have no idea where the past half hour, 45 minutes, hour just went. Partly I have the feeling that all that time was spent on trivial paper work, nothing of value and partly I am just disoriented by not knowing where I am in space and time. It is such a dramatic shift from my summer of leisure and it's not a valuable use of my time. I'm not actually teaching or working with kids and making a difference in anyone's life. So all of a sudden I am out of summer and thrown into school with no idea of where I am. I feel lost and overwhelmed and I am grieving the loss of being in charge of my own life. Mindfulness. That is what I am searching for now. Just knowing what I'm doing and the importance of the minutes as they tick by. And that as each job is finished I take a moment to say, "Nice, check that one off the list and let's move on to the next." It is simply a slowing down and breathing and acknowledging that, ye,s this mindless paper work is important, it is all part of this thing called teaching which I am called to do.

Gardening with Joan

Several years ago a much beloved teacher left this earth after a long and valiant fight against cancer. She was the impetus behind a school garden and when she died, the garden was dedicated to her with a promise made that her seeds of love and learning would forever be planted. On several occasions I have worked in the garden to keep it going and every time I have had the same feeling. It is the closest I have come to being in communication with those that have crossed over. I feel her loving warmth, see her smile, and hear her raucous laughter. I know that she is watching over that garden and that I am her hands on earth.

I happened to be at the school last week and my heart absolutely broke when I saw the garden overrun with weeds and runaway poppies. State flower or not, poppies can be as deadly as dandelions when left untended. As the days went by, I couldn't get the vision of Joan's garden out of my mind and I knew I had to do something about it. So my final Sunday of summer vacation was spend hanging out in the garden with Joanie. There is nothing better that I could have done with that morning than weed and haul and plant and water.

Not only did I get to be in the company of Joan but I was also reminded of the fun of being around an elementary school. It is the center of the neighborhood. It's where everything happens on the weekends - soccer and baseball games, family picnics, walkers and runners getting their workout. Dads bring their kids here to play catch and teach them to ride bikes with and without training wheels. You can't help but smile watching men nurture their children and pass on their life lessons.

Joan, I thank you for the lessons you taught me in our time together and I am eternally grateful that our relationship continues on in the dirt of the garden. I promise that your seeds of love and learning will always be planted for the children who never had the joy of meeting you but who will know you in your blooms that live on.

School Is In The Air

If you really take the time to notice, you can feel an ever so slight dip in the morning temperatures, those pink August lilies are blooming, and the coming of school is in the air. While it is hard to shift gears again so quickly, I really do like the feeling of going back. I am a person who likes order and fits into routine quickly. As much as I love the openness of summer I am always ready for the return of the orderliness of the academic year. It has become part of the turning of the seasons in my life. I don't remember liking the beginning of school as a child, it made me nervous. Someone new was taking over for my "favorite" teacher. There were new kids to meet and everything was going to be just a little bit harder. But life on the other side of the desk is different. It is the feeling of hope reborn once again. A new bunch of kids are on their way. They bring with them new stories, jokes, and challenges. The dream of being the best that I can be is reborn. It is the blank notebook that is waiting to be cracked open and the first letter to be written that will become the story of a new school year. I like everything about it but one of my favorite things is shopping for new school supplies and watching the interchange between kids and their moms as they choose the "perfect" binder, backpack, notebooks, folders and pencils. I'm looking for bargains but they are searching for acceptance from their peers and the moms seem to remember feeling those feelings. It is a new beginning where anything is possible, a fresh start for everyone. I head back to the classroom and slowly start pulling things out of their summer storage and find a place for each item. It is never ever the same place it was in just 2 short months ago because I love the look of old things in new places. Recreating the classroom walls is the closest I ever come to being artistic. It is my blank canvas where I choose just the right color that will mellow out the excitement of the early days but still feel like home in June. The border is added and some sort of message is created that welcomes them into the world of learning that will slowly be revealed over the course of the next 180 days. It is the crackle of unwrapping bundles of notebooks and sharpening pencils, the stacking of new books and labeling, the endless labeling of names that today have no meaning but in a matter of days will have stories attached to them that I will never forget. I love the emptiness of the new beginning and knowing that the peacefulness of the empty classroom will very soon become a chaos that is unable to be contained within those four walls. It is a time for planning when nothing gets in your way - no kids or parents or meetings or personal obligations. Yes, anything is possible, lessons and units are taught flawlessly in my mind and every thought and dream ends in success. It is every teacher's dream. New beginnings. A new year is on the brink of being born. I am ready for its joys and challenges. I am ready to laugh and lament at these kids who will for a year become like family. I am ready to learn again and push my boundaries just a tiny bit more. Welcome year number 21. Let's do it.