Santa Clara, The Tree City

Our city prides itself on being a "tree" city. They go out of their way to plant trees in the sidewalk easement all over town. I have recently been involved in this process. It all started when I discovered that finally the top of a grafted walnut tree (which never belongs wedged in a sidewalk) had finally succumbed. I was not in the least bit sad about this because I have no affinity for walnut trees. So I called the city number and was told that a guy would be out to check the tree. Within a few days he stopped by and left a form that indeed the tree was dead and must be removed. He also left a list of possible trees to choose from. After a few days of mulling it over, I made my selection completely based on beauty and height. If it's my tree I want to be able to enjoy its beauty from my living room window. So I once again called the city number and the message taker said she would pass along the information. Luckily the next part of the process occurred during the first week of summer vacation or I would have missed the whole thing. On Monday a guy came to check the space and double check the tree selections. We discussed removing some of the concrete to make more room for the tree. Excellent idea! he made some colored lines on the sidewalk and said I was on the list but there were 10 tree removals ahead of me. On Tuesday the water guy came and made some blue lines where the water pipes are. On Wednesday PG&E came and made some red lines to mark the gas pipe. On Thursday AT&T came and wrote in fluorescent orange on the street "No AT&Y, No CATV." By this point I am beginning to laugh each time a company car slowly drives down my street looking for house numbers. But all those colors are certainly drawing the neighbors' attention to some upcoming activity. Some are happy to hear about some pretty trees taking the place of the messy walnut and others appear to be concerned about where the squirrels will find their next meal. My house.My decision. The following Tuesday I came home to 2 barricades stating that no one could park in that space on Wednesday from 7-4. Sometime during the night or early morning someone must have come along and moved the barricades from the sidewalk to the street. Unfortunately, one if facing the wrong direction but no worries. It just makes me wonder about who does all these little odd jobs and how I might get one.

Around 7:20 the first trucks arrived. Each of the drivers got out, with coffee in hand and assessed the situation. About 20 minutes later a city worker in a pick-up arrived. This resulted in one of the trucks leaving and the other driver unwinding his house, then winding it back up, driving the truck around the block and returns stopping in the middle of the street. By now it is getting close to 8:00. He skirts a bunch of water on the steet and watches the flow and then drives around the block again. He returns to his spot in the middle of the street but this time is facing the other direction. He sets his cones out and waits. Minutes pass. There is some walkie talkie activity and the other truck returns. Finally the gas can and the concrete cutting saw come out and work begins at 8:10. A half hour later the concrete is cut (but still in place) and the trucks are gone.

Embracing Change

In my reorganization of the teaching materials in my garage, the funniest thing floated to the floor. Now that I'm looking at it, I remember it was from a page in Paula's retirement memory book. I don't know who wrote it but I may need to find out. It clearing speaks to my heart and the journey that I am on.

Embracing Change

I find it a bit amusing when people talk about CHANGE... how they delicately and ever so gently whisper its name. Some are intimidated by or insecure about its presence, while others are politely respectful of its immense power.

CHANGE...
With a smile or a tear, it touches our lives day in and day out, the relentless, inevitable warrior of fate. It can arrive at any moment in life, but we must not feel threatened by it or fearful. Instead, when change is upon us, we should open our eyes wider with amazement and enthusiasm; we should extend our arms farther, and embrace the world around us.

CHANGE...
Let it jolt you, push and pull you. Let it challenge you. Know in your heart that change is what gives you the chance to be yourself and the opportunity to make your life everything you want it to be

Books, Books, Books

One of the projects I am involved in for the next week or so is going through my teaching stuff in the garage. When I moved out of third grade I boxed everything in a fairly organized manner and took only what I needed to middle school. I had always known that I would give it a year before I made any decisions about whether or not I would keep my primary teaching materials. I knew almost from the very beginning that middle school was my niche. I am not a collector and absolutely can't stand having things in storage that other people could be using. That meant it was time to sort, classify and distribute the rest of my stuff. This entails hundreds of books, primary math supplies, social studies and science units, art materials and a few grade specific things. It took up the better part of a one car garage. I am lucky enough to have people in my life who will graciously accept my hand me downs. The sorting process was the most challenging. My book piles were the following: primary books for a second year first grade teacher, books for older kids at Sutter, books my friend Paula has convinced me I will need as a someday grandma and books that are a bit out of date for the book recycler. The book sorting took a total of 6 hours spread over 3 days. I love everything about reading so there was more feeling connected to each book that I picked up than I had anticipated. I was flooded by images from my past. There were the books that I had prior to teaching and I remembered both as a child and reading to my own kids. Those are such happy memories. Some books brought images of students' faces or sometimes their book boxes because they loved it so much it was in their possession almost all year. A few put me back in the school/classroom I was in when I bought it or where I was in my teaching career. I was fascinated by the choices I made as a first year teacher compared to more recent purchases. They truly are the tracks of my teaching. Others brought back memories of entire classes transfixed as I read it aloud. I remembered the feelings I had with my first read and how they changed with successive readings. With some I recalled the flea market or garage sale where it was purchased, usually from a retiring teacher. My favorite part was to open the front cover and find a name plate from the student who had purchased it as a gift from a book fair in his/her first grade handwriting. I love children's books. I love searching for them, buying them, reading them, rereading them and even passing them along to be enjoyed by a brand new audience.

School's Out For Summer!

The beginning of summer vacation is one of the most interesting things in a teacher's life to behold. I absolutely love just being an observer of my brain and body as they both slowly decompress. By the time I woke up on Monday I was thinking of absolutely nothing. And I actually thought that as I woke up - there is nothing on my mind. Not that there wasn't anything on my mind but the kids were gone, grades were gone, and school as a thought process had disappeared. School was just a list of things that needed to be done before August. In their place were plenty of things. My summer projects, (tearing out the front yard and cleaning out the elementary school dump that also doubles as my garage), the state of the world, elections and freedom of speech in Iran, upcoming challenges (summer school and a middle school reading intervention class), my daughter's adventures in the UK, a weekend trip to Portland for my aunt's 80th birthday, my 403b, etc, etc.

I love being home. It seems to be the 50's phase of life for me. I find myself constantly thinking, "I just want to go home." And here I am, home. It is definitely all it is cracked up to be. Home is my refuge, a place of peace and solace. It is whatever I want it to be. A place to read, a place to veg out in front of the TV, a place to hang out on the deck and enjoy the flowers.

I often think that summer vacation must be like a movie trailer for retirement. You wake up and think, "What am I going to do today?" That it is - just today. There is no tomorrow or next week or next month or the end of the quarter or next year. Just today. I love that. I can definitely handle fulfilling expectations for 24 hours. Tomorrow will just have to take care of itself.

I know that as the next 10 days pass, my thoughts will slowly morph into summer school mode but for now I love this feeling of nothingness.

A Sixth Grade Student's Reflections

I have had a blast in sixth grade! I met new people, had great teachers, and learned many things! There have been so many new experiences that I never thought I'd get to have. I loved all our field trips and our special Shark assemblies. This essay is about some of my most memorable experiences in the sixth grade.

First, I have made many new friends. Boys and girls i never thought I'd be friends with. Some from different schools and some from the school where I spent K-5th grade. I have grown closer to people I have known since kindergarten. They turned out to be trustworthy and really funny. The new friends I have made are so different, yet we seem to share the same interests. I look forward to getting to know them better in the next two years.

Next are my wonderful teachers. I never thought I could get so lucky to have very nice teachers who don't make me cry. I can't tell you how many times I have cried because of a teacher. So many times. This year I was really happy and I would laugh in every class because of the teachers. If I had a problem that I needed help with, my teachers were never too busy to help. I worked really hard at getting good grades and my teachers made me believe I could do it. Thank you, Mr.________, Mrs. _______, and Ms. _____!

Now for the field trips. My favorite field trip in the sixth grade was when we went to the The Tech Museum. I loved seeing the IMAX movie about the coral reef. That was really fascinating. The field trip was made even more special by the fact that my sister, ______, was home from college on spring break and she got to chaperone. I also loved the trip to the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco. I love that we could take pictures of the art. I got a lot of good pictures. my mom got to take the day off from work and come along.

Finally, the Shark assemblies. I think that it was really kind of all the teachers to take time off from their schedules to give awards to their students for the things they thought we did well. I was really surprised when I got the award for being super efficient. I have put in on the mantle so everyone can see it. I was really proud of myself that day and I thank all the teachers again.

So, all in all, I have had a really great year. I will miss all my of my teachers and all of the great times I have had in sixth grade. I hope I can at least be a TA for one of my sixth grade teachers next year. I will always remember this year and try to visit my old teachers a lot.

The Impact of a Life

Sometimes I wish I knew where I was in the "normal" range. For the most part I think I'm a pretty average person in the way I react to life's little road bumps. But I have the feeling that my response to death may be a little off, especially ones that take me by surprise. I can take in stride when people I have loved, died after a long illness or have lived a full life. I miss them terribly but there is always a place I can file it intellectually. It makes sense. Brian Hegarty dieing at age 35 for no apparent cause does not make sense and that thought is stuck in my head. It rewinds over and over again. Young people dieing doesn't make sense. When things don't make sense to me, I can't seem to let them go. Perhaps I'm a little OCD. My thoughts between last Monday and today have gone from physical to metaphysical questions and I am finally in utter confusion.

Brian was an amazing teacher with a great love for life. He was the guy you would love for your daughter to marry. If I had had another one, I definitely would have put them in the same room together just to see what would happen. He was well grounded and smart and charming and spiritual all rolled into one amazing package. He was literally at the prime of his professional life. He loved teaching and always wanted to get better at it and he did. Within two months time he would have taken over the reigns as principal of an elementary school. If anyone could have been successful at going from teacher to principal in the same school, it would have been him. And now, they tell me he is gone. How does that happen? How do you go from being alive and vibrant and everything that he was to dead? All my questions begin with "did he know?" Did he know he was dieing? Did he know his life would be so short? Did he know how deeply he was loved? Did he know what an impact he had had on so many lives? And this is where my thinking takes a detour. What is it that any of us knows about the force we are in the world. As teachers, we are aware of the role we play in the lives of our students, both positive and negative. But I'm talking about the impact we leave by just living human lives in realationship with other humans. Everything we do and say can and does effect the world in ways we can never anticipate. Observing the depth of the community's response to Brian's death leads us all to realize the importance of every moment we live. Our life may end up being much shorter than we anticipate. We might not get a tomorrow to make that phone call or meet for dinner. It is the reminder of the unpredictabily of what is to come. We are on a journy with an unknown destination as well as an unknown timeframe. There is no other way to live it than in this moment. Now we can't exactly go around telling everyone at every moment of our existence what a difference they have made in our lives but I know we can do better. I, for one can start putting the people I love way ahead of anything else. Here is the first of many acts that will be Brian Hegarty's legacy lived out in my life. This week I booked a ticket to go to my aunt's 80th birthday party. My initial response to the invitation was one of those "too bad" moments. But Brian's death makes you reconsider that whole "too bad" reaction. Worry about money or the fact that the next day is the first day of summer school cannot compare to the moments that will be spent with my family and friends. Too bad? How about flipping that on its head and living life with all the events that are too good, too good to miss?

Thank you, Brian for all that you gave to the world in the short time you were with us. You will be desperately missed by everyone you touched. Your love lives on in each of us in new and glorious ways that none of us ever anticipated. I am so lucky to have crossed your path on this wild and wonderful journey of life.

Catching Up

It has been a while since I have posted. The last word from me was the pain of Shingles. I don't withdraw from life very often but that one almost took me out. I really don't know how I got through the work day but I would come home as quickly after school as possible and put in my couch time. It became the most important thing I did all day. Suddenly this Monday I woke up feeling significantly better. I have no explanation, only gratitude. Every day gets better and better. Maybe soon I'll try wearing a skirt or pants with a waistband again. But I must say my students have certainly enjoyed seeing me in dresses. I suppose it has been an interesting way to end the year:) Changes in fashion is extremely important to the middle world.

In other news there has been a dramatic shift in the behavior of the "the boy who would not be name." Once again I have no explanation, only gratitude. Things definitely got worse before they got better. I am only thankful that we are all ending on a positive note. My favorite part of the whole thing is how well he is able to verbalize it. "It feels a lot better when I don't get in trouble." I have been stunned by how "cute" he seems to me now that he is smiling and doing what students do. Perception is everything.

Along with ending the year I am also gearing up for summer school. I'll be teaching incoming 6th graders beginning June 29th - a mere two weeks after I say good-bye to my current 6th graders. All my couch time gave me lots of time to think and plan. I am quite pleased with my developing Language Arts unit. It will be interesting to see how my imaginary lessons really turn out. I love the planning part of my job but am often surprised by the way it turns out in real life.

Yesterday I received some extremely sad news. A teacher I taught with many years ago did not show up to work. The police were called and he was found dead in his apartment. I was absolutely stunned into utter silence. He was only 35 years old and an extremely gifted teacher. He had worked his way up the ranks and had just been selected principal for the upcoming school year. I am still in shock and feel such an emptiness. Sometimes life is so fleeting. You look up and the ones we once loved are gone. It is that on-going reminder to live in the moment. Say what you want to say today. Tomorrow you may only be able to say good-bye.

So now I turn my head and heart toward the end of the school year. It is with excitement as well as a touch of sadness. I am excited to see how it all goes in middle school. Do they hug and cry on the last day or shout for joy? There are definitely many kids in this class that I will miss. I have been so lucky to start off with such a good group of students. And like always, I know that I have learned more from them than they did from me.