Saturday, December 30, 2023

Looking Back on 2023

What worked in 2023: 

Building a Community of Believers
God has answered this prayer of mine for community in the most interesting way. The Mission Church drew me back here and I accepted the call. Then came Lorraine, then Nancy, then Paul. And the parade continues. As summer turned to fall of 2023, it seemed that with each passing week, a new friend or acquaintance appeared in the seats around me. The call seemed to have gone out to each of us in the form of a thirst or hunger that is difficult to put into words. And whatever it is, the Jesuits of SCU are quenching it.

Retirement 2.0
The jokes and jabs of my second retirement are finally subsiding as the year comes to a close. Yes, this second time around, I am making it work. I have learned how to sleep better and rise slower. No appointments before 10. Take time for a morning walk every day but Sunday. Take each day as it comes and celebrate as it ends.

Putting Friends First
This is closely aligned with the previous topic. I have committed to saying yes to all invitations. Lunch? Breakfast? Walk the trail? Walk the labyrinth? Coffee? Movie? The answer is always yes. I am learning to trust that despite a particular day's busy schedule, it will all balance out. And with that balance comes a beautiful memory of time well-spent.

Amy
Amy, my beautiful, amazing half sister that is more like a sister and a half! We have known each other for a year and a half and yet she knows things about me that no one else knows. She has brought a feeling of safety to my soul that I have never felt with another person. My vulnerabilities seem to fall away in her presence. She somehow embodies God's complete mercy and understanding; "You can tell me anything and I will still love you."

Service
It's happening! Service opportunities have come calling. My prayer kept telling me to wait, it will come to you and it has. I have my gig at the Nativity library twice a week, and I am back to serving as a Eucharistic Minister, and feeding the homeless once a month. It feels like the perfect mix; I feel useful but it has not overwhelmed the relaxed mode I am enjoying in retirement.

Leaning into a Future
Perhaps the thing that worked best in 2023 was allowing myself to lean into what was next for me. I am currently a participant in the Pierre Favre program at El Retiro and am in the process of becoming a guide for the Spiritual Exercises. The latest word is that it will eventually lead into becoming a Spiritual Guide. This is the work that God had waiting for me; this becomes more clear with each passing month.

What didn't work in 2023:

Taking Sickness and Death in Stride
I know no one is ever ready for this stage in life but it seemed that 2023 packed a wallop. A dear friend was diagnosed with bladder cancer, my aunt and uncle moved into long term care/assisted living, and another of my Top 5 had a series of strokes and passed away. We are all far too young for this or maybe I just wasn't prepared. As I step out of my 69th year and into 70, it is clear that these events will become more common. I promise to keep showing up for my friends as was listed above. It has also been the stark reminder to say whatever it is you have to say whenever you have the opportunity to say it.

Listening to my gut when it says Go!
If I have any one regret from this year, it is that I didn't fly to New York to see Tessa perform in her Christmas show. I thought about it and then sat back and just assumed it would be live streamed like it was last year. So, 2024 will be the year where even though I have traveled in August, October, and November, I hope to be able to say yes to a December trip to NYC.

My commitment to "This is my last move."
One never knows when you make statements that include absolutes what might happen to change your mind. My move to Willard Ave was clearly not the last. It all turned out well in the end but this move in December was definitely one of my more challenging. It has become clear that my body simply doesn't have the strength or resilience it once had. So I will just say, I'm hoping this was my last...

Again, it's a Writing Schedule
A year ago, I said what hadn't work was coming up with a writing schedule. This is still true. However, I did make progress with some actual writing. I attended a spiritual writing retreat and have done several classes on-line. So perhaps the goal is misaligned. Let's do more writing and find our comfort zone before we criticize ourselves for not having it on the weekly schedule.

Looking Ahead
As I look into the horizon I see only blurry images of what is to come. I am hopeful that it includes much of what is contained on my list of what worked in 2023. One thing is for certain; there will be unimagined joys and painful sorrows. I only pray that I can retain the image of them walking side by side on the path, each one making the other better for having made the journey together.

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