Time

As I re-embrace this state of retirement, my mind consistently returns to the concept of time and how it is used in the world.  Everyone I've ever known who has had the privilege of being retired will say the same thing, "I don't know how I ever had time to work."  Yes, the days just seem to fill themselves over and over again.  You awake with the question of what this day will bring and before you know it, you are entering into the quiet of the evening.

Having done this before, I definitely knew what to expect this time around but in many ways, this experience has been very different and it's all about the time.  Retiring to a new state brings with it an excitement and sense of exploration that doesn't exist when you simply leave the work world and go home. Much of my planning for the day in both Washington and Florida centered on destinations; things to see, places to go. The planning phase of my days here are on the doing of life; praying, walking, reading, writing, thinking.  From day to day the chunks of time vary depending on other obligations and the activity is chosen according to the time available.  Everything feels negotiable and doable.  If it doesn't happen today, maybe it will tomorrow.  And if it doesn't happen tomorrow, maybe it's just not that important.  This is extremely counter cultural. In the capitalistic fast-paced society that governs most lives there is a feeling of the imperative; things must be done right here right now or in the time that is set aside for them.  This is especially true in the academic world that is purposefully divided into semesters, weeks, days and periods. A 10:00 meeting on Tuesday moved to Wednesday is a cumbersome task at best. The freedom that I now enjoy is something unheard of for others in our success driven planet Earth.

Personally, it has required a transplant of the phrase "all will be well" with "it doesn't matter."   I no longer need to console myself that when things run late or don't go according to plan, I will make up the time somewhere else.  No, time now seems to be an infinite resource (although I know that ultimately is far from true.). Time is that lavish gift, generously given by God for us to use as we see fit.  If I can't fall asleep or wake up during the night for no reason, it doesn't matter; I'll sleep in tomorrow.  If I go over a projected plan of reading or writing, it doesn't matter; I'll do what didn't get done another time. If I'm not in the mood to repot the plants this afternoon, it doesn't matter; there's always tomorrow. In this transitional period while I am recalibrating my focus on time, I feel utter joy and freedom while I once again tell myself that it doesn't matter.  I am completely present to whatever project which currently has my focus and that is a sublime gift in itself. But it bears asking, what if I could have seem time as this seemingly boundless commodity decades ago when I was racing through life?  There is no looking back but I definitely have my eyes here and now, open to all this sense of freedom brings along for the ride.  

Corporate Responsibility

 My recent air travel to Omaha and on to Lexington through Charlotte turned out to be a life lesson. It demanded that I utilize all my skills of decision making, patience, and being present to the moment.  After several delays and plane changes leaving Charlotte, we somehow ended up flying right into a storm just outside of Lexington.  The pilot was first asked to begin his descent early and then was diverted to Louisville.  This was only the beginning of the problems that would arise as Louisville is so close to Lexington that there is no flight plan between the two cities. As things slowly revealed themselves, there seemed to be three options: trust American Airlines to do what was right for the 100 customers stranded 80 miles from their purchased destination, accept my son's offer to drive those 80 miles to pick me up and back again, or Uber there on my own.  As the minutes and hours ticked away, I realized that something had grown inside of me alongside of the patience that has always been my hallmark; trust.  Trust that a multinational corporation would do the right thing, trust that the assigned customer service representatives would look deep into the faces hovering around the gate and know these people must all somehow be returned to their loved ones tonight.  At the time, I was naming it corporate responsibility; American Airlines had a duty to get me to Lexington.  That was our transaction; I give you my credit card and you in turn promise to put me in the loving arms of my son and daughter-in-law.  That is the deal we made.  Money for love, a love that can not be valued.  So I chose trust, trust that American Airlines would do exactly that.  As I looked back on the events of this seemingly endless night, I became keenly aware of all the ways that age and wisdom are changing me.  I believed that the corporation would do the right thing and that belief was so strong that I was willing to keep my money in my pocket. I know for a fact that 5 years ago nothing would have kept me in that Louisville airport.  I would only have put my trust in my wallet and an Uber car to take me where I wanted to go.  I was in charge of my destiny, not American Airlines, not a pilot or a customer service representative.  Yes, I am learning to let go, to put my ego aside, and to let others control the events that are truly out of my hands. The time with my son and daughter-in-law was indeed beyond measure and perhaps even more so because of the hours that our first beloved hug was delayed. Thank you American Airlines for getting us to Lexington but more importantly, for doing the right thing.