This is a phrase that keeps echoing in my head. It is something that I recently heard over and over again at a high school graduation party. Parents were saying that when it comes down to it, all they really want is for their kids to be nice. This is huge when I think about all the things that a parent may want for their 18 year old almost adult. That is what all our parenting is about - just be nice. It also popped up in a discussion with a friend about her aging mother. Why can't she just be nice? Now this is not something that just happened - she didn't get not nice because she was old. But when you're trying to get good medical care for your mother, it might change things if the patient could be nice.
So what does it mean to be nice? In my toddler world, it is don't hit, kick, pinch, bite or push. But all good teachers know that you don't define anything in the negative. Be nice is use your inside voice, treat everything and everyone gently. To the parents of 18 years old it is to treat others with respect, and once again to use that inside voice and be gentle. And to the aging parent it is to accept that others may know more than you do and to listen without judgment. There is no need to say out loud every little thing that comes into your head and to realize that your life and well being are now in the hands of others. So just be nice.
But what is it really? It is to smile when someone makes eye contact with you. We don't do enough of that anymore. And when we do, we get it right back. Smiles are one of the most contagious things around. That's the thing about being nice; the effects are immediate. And while you're at it, say hello. Once again that doesn't happen enough anymore. We have sort of lost the art of greeting one another when me meet and saying goodbye when we leave. Part of being nice is also the art of politeness. It is saying please and thank you and you're welcome. It is also saying no thank you and excuse me.
Being nice is being a positive force in the universe. It is to look at life and each other in the best of terms. Finding the beauty in the world instead of what is wrong is a perspective that sometimes takes practice. But once accomplished, it is hard to go back.
Practice humility. None of us is better than anyone else. We have all been gifted in different ways. Accept that everyone has their journey with highs and lows and that if we help each other along the way the path gets a little easier for everyone. When we boast and brag or put ourselves above someone else it can only result in the other person feeling sad or less than equal. Being nice lightens everyone's load and makes the world a better place.
Help each other. When someone falls down, help them get up. An ice pack or a band aid go a long way at my house. If they are sick, give them a call or send a card and let them know that you are thinking of them. When you accidentally bump them, apologize. It's the little things in life that make all the difference.
Be nice. It is what I am trying to teach my daycare kids. It is what I try my hardest to model to everyone I meet. It is still a struggle sometimes but if we all try a little harder the world will definitely be a nicer place for each and every one of us.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Thursday, June 07, 2012
In the Blink of an Eye...
In the blink of an eye everything can change. This is a phrase that keeps popping up at the oddest times. I am struck by how quickly the known and routine can suddenly be blasted into smithereens so that it is unrecognizable. I am at an age where I am developing a bit of perspective. Some things in life seem to on and on endlessly while others are here and gone. What we know and trust to be true and assume will go on forever are simply gone or at least dramatically changed.
Last Christmas Eve began predictably and suddenly with the bark of the family pet whom everyone trusted and adored, our lives were turned upside down. What followed that bark was the scream of a toddler followed by the shriek of her mother. My granddaughter's face was scarred and none of us who were there will ever be the same.
On Memorial Day, my son-in-law was in a freak incident that resulted in 20 stitches on his right hand as well as a severed tendon. In the blink of an eye he became a spectator parent and my daughter the sole caretaker of a somewhat less than mellow 2 year old and her baby sister. Parenting 24/7 never meant as much to me as it does now. On minimal sleep she feeds, dresses, bathes, and gets both kids ready for bed. She deals with the toddler tantrums as well as breastfeeding the baby. She carries on with her social commitments and continues to challenge herself in the parenting department. It is something to behold.
In the blink of an eye everything changes. We simply stand up and take the next step forward. What was, is no longer. We look at the puzzle pieces remaining and somehow put them together again to make a picture, not the picture we thought it was going to be but a beautiful picture nonetheless. We are strengthened by the challenges and walk a little taller knowing that we have been tested. There will be more to come; we know not when. And in the blink of an eye what we believed to be true will change once again.
Last Christmas Eve began predictably and suddenly with the bark of the family pet whom everyone trusted and adored, our lives were turned upside down. What followed that bark was the scream of a toddler followed by the shriek of her mother. My granddaughter's face was scarred and none of us who were there will ever be the same.
On Memorial Day, my son-in-law was in a freak incident that resulted in 20 stitches on his right hand as well as a severed tendon. In the blink of an eye he became a spectator parent and my daughter the sole caretaker of a somewhat less than mellow 2 year old and her baby sister. Parenting 24/7 never meant as much to me as it does now. On minimal sleep she feeds, dresses, bathes, and gets both kids ready for bed. She deals with the toddler tantrums as well as breastfeeding the baby. She carries on with her social commitments and continues to challenge herself in the parenting department. It is something to behold.
In the blink of an eye everything changes. We simply stand up and take the next step forward. What was, is no longer. We look at the puzzle pieces remaining and somehow put them together again to make a picture, not the picture we thought it was going to be but a beautiful picture nonetheless. We are strengthened by the challenges and walk a little taller knowing that we have been tested. There will be more to come; we know not when. And in the blink of an eye what we believed to be true will change once again.
Monday, June 04, 2012
Life List - Run a 5K
A few months ago I set a goal to run a 5K so it naturally landed on my Life List. I don't really know what I had in mind when I set that goal; whether it was really running for the full 3.1 miles or just running more than walking. I read somewhere that running is defined as having both feet off the ground simultaneously. Most people consider a 12 minute mile as a run and anything below that as walking. Whatever the definition, I am considering my "run" yesterday as meeting my goal. I completed the See Jane Run 5K in Alameda in 35:43, my best time ever and even under by best training run of 36 minutes.
I have to say, it feels a little strange to have met the goal so quickly. But the reality is that I am moving on. My next race begins the 10K segment of my summer and I will end with a half marathon in October. So for the moment, I will just take a breath and enjoy the moment. Woo hoo. I did it. I thank my chiropractor and my friends and family who have supported me, but especially, my daughter, Maria!
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