Surviving the Fear of Falling

Ever since I first started running, I have had a healthy fear of falling.  I know that it came from running on city sidewalks and stumbling over uneven edges.  But it kept me from running with a headlamp in the early morning hours and led me to my short stint at running in the gym.  Fear is anything that keeps you from living life as you dream possible.  So it didn't keep me from running but it was definitely always there in the background.  Last weekend I ran my first trail race at the advice of my chiropractor.  It made sense.  She knew I liked running outside and that I only did "pretty" races so why not?  I checked out the website she recommended and registered for my first race.  It was a totally different experience from the big road races.  I looked around and didn't see too many 50 somethings and the thought occurred to me that this could be my race!  We started down the hill and up onto the trail.  Suddenly I found myself trying to straddle gullies and maintain my balance over the uneven terrain.  It got worse from there - dirt, sand, gravel, rocks big enough that they had to be hopped over.  The dichotomy of it all was how beautiful the views were.  My eyes would trade vistas of some of the most beautiful tree covered hills in the area with the ugliness of rutted dirt paths.  But I saw a lot more of the path than the trees.  I made it to the turn around and was thrilled.  I headed down the path to the finish feeling OK about my run.  About 3/4 of  mile from the end, I lost my footing.  There was no stumble or slide, the right foot just didn't touch the ground.  I had the presence of mind to relax everything because I knew I couldn't stop it.  This is the gift of age - knowing when to give in to the universe.  I hit the ground on my right side and suddenly felt my body sliding down the side of the hill. That, I did not anticipate.  When I stopped, I took an inventory of all the body parts.  I had puncture wounds on both hands that were bleeding, scrapes on my upper and lower right arm and my leg was covered in dust.  I got up and was thrilled that there was no other pain - no broken bones or torn ligaments.  I couldn't have been more grateful for anything in my life.  I fell and lived.  And I could still run.  So that is what I did.  I was fearless to the finish line.  I had already fallen and was bleeding so what else could happen?  Once I crossed it, I looked down at my hands and used the water I had left in my bottle to try and clean them up.  Watching the blood stream off was somehow cleansing to crossing over the line of fear.  15 minutes later, my results were posted and lo and behold, I had placed 3rd in my age group.  I headed up to the parking lot with the additional weight of a third place medal.  Never in my wildest dreams when I started this running journey did I think that I would ever place for a medal.  Living life to the fullest brings the most amazing gifts.

The Grandma Goat Farm Adventure

I love being a grandma.  Even if all I'm doing with the girls is playing with toys in the living room, I love being a grandma.  But this Mother's Day weekend, I was absolutely euphoric about the role I play.  Maria and I had been trying to schedule a time for me to take Callie to Harley's Goat Farm for a couple weeks and then out of the blue Bill's amazing Mother's Day surprise for Maria made all the pieces fall into place.  I made plans and couldn't wait to watch them unfold.

Maria dropped off the girls with their bag that Daddy had packed before his business trip to China. We loaded up the car and we were off.  Callie was as chatty as I have ever seen her.  It was a blast just talking to her about goats and goat cheese and the beach and  picnics and pie.  We made out way to Pescadero and the goats.  She jumped out of the car while I got Lucia and bounded over to the goat enclosure.  I knew she would love petting the goats but I didn't realize how long she could be happy there.

We hung out with the babies, went over to see the big girls, did a little cheese tasting and bought Mama a little something and went back to see the babies.  Callie could not have been happier.  Next stop: Duarte's for some pie to add to our beach picnic.  We got our pie to go, ran into a fruit stand and left with a box of apricots and raspberries and headed for the beach.  We had our picnic overlooking Half Moon Bay's Venice Beach.  After lunch we trekked down to the sand and water and then Lucia took over.  She was constantly heading for the water while Callie was busy collecting shells and filling her pockets with sanding treasures.  I was flooded with Mommy memories and knowing this was absolutely the best Grandma adventure to date.  Not only that, Bill had inadvertently given me the best Mother's Day gift ever.

Heading to the car, I could only think about what was to be.  If this was our best adventure so far, think about the fun that is waiting for the three of us.  I am so thankful to Maria and Bill, who trust me implicitly with the lives of their babies who in turn have brought me such happiness.