I have made a few comments here and there about one of my student teachers from Summer School. I won't belabor the point of how surprised I have been by how it has all turned out. I remain mystified and a bit humbled that every now and then our first impressions can be way off course. Today she gave me a thank you note and I have to say she was clearly paying attention
"Thank you so much for allowing me to be apart of your classroom this summer. I have enjoyed the past 5 weeks and learned more than I thought possible. I especially appreciated your use of positive reinforcement and loved seeing the students respond to your encouragement. I will miss your ability to see the potential in every student, but I hope to carry this outlook into my other classrooms."
Wow...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Week Number Five - The End
Summer school 2009 is now history and so today a breathe a huge sigh of relieve. The end is always anticlimactic because so many kids don't bother to show up but nonetheless I am thrilled to be done with it. It wasn't as bad as I often thought it was but I still don't want to do it again. I'm tired. It's just as simple as that. The money is good - no doubt of that - but it is all just so exhausting. I'm not the kind of teacher that can take anything lightly. I lose as much sleep over summer school kids and lesson plan as I do during the regular school year. I just can't shut it off. And that is no way to spend a summer vacation. But I have to admit I have grown and learned many new things as a result of my summer school experiences.
1. Sometimes my first impressions of people can be a little off. I had a student teacher who I would have bet money on the fact that she didn't think I knew jack about teaching. I was dead wrong. I still don't think she fully comprehended everything she was seeing but the girl was just hungry for more. Her questions weren't necessarily questioning me, they were just questions.
2. It is still hard for me to give up control of the classroom but I definitely improved in that department this summer. I allowed student teachers to dig in without my intervention and resentment did not rear its ugly head. That is definitely a step in the right direction.
3. I saw great growth in several kids that I kind of thought were players. Patience and maintaining eye contact for ungodly long periods of time can be very effective.
4. The very most important thing a student can do to begin a successful career is to show up and pay attention. That's it. That's all it takes. The brain will do the rest automatically.
5. I truly had no idea how much I have missed teaching reading. I LOVE the deep conversations that come about because of stories and the way people share who they are through those conversations.
6. I continue to learn how to make connections for kids between the school world and the real one. One of my best lessons this summer was convincing my students that they are the main characters in the story of their own lives. It was a powerful way to link to their new identities as middle school students. Every day we decide who we are projecting to the outside world. This is still a life lesson for me. Who am I? Would the people who know and love me answer that question the way I do? If not, I need to reintroduce my "character" to my readers.
7. Afternoon naps are amazing. I'm quite sure I would have ended up in a heap without them.
And now I think that is just what I will do - go take a nap.
1. Sometimes my first impressions of people can be a little off. I had a student teacher who I would have bet money on the fact that she didn't think I knew jack about teaching. I was dead wrong. I still don't think she fully comprehended everything she was seeing but the girl was just hungry for more. Her questions weren't necessarily questioning me, they were just questions.
2. It is still hard for me to give up control of the classroom but I definitely improved in that department this summer. I allowed student teachers to dig in without my intervention and resentment did not rear its ugly head. That is definitely a step in the right direction.
3. I saw great growth in several kids that I kind of thought were players. Patience and maintaining eye contact for ungodly long periods of time can be very effective.
4. The very most important thing a student can do to begin a successful career is to show up and pay attention. That's it. That's all it takes. The brain will do the rest automatically.
5. I truly had no idea how much I have missed teaching reading. I LOVE the deep conversations that come about because of stories and the way people share who they are through those conversations.
6. I continue to learn how to make connections for kids between the school world and the real one. One of my best lessons this summer was convincing my students that they are the main characters in the story of their own lives. It was a powerful way to link to their new identities as middle school students. Every day we decide who we are projecting to the outside world. This is still a life lesson for me. Who am I? Would the people who know and love me answer that question the way I do? If not, I need to reintroduce my "character" to my readers.
7. Afternoon naps are amazing. I'm quite sure I would have ended up in a heap without them.
And now I think that is just what I will do - go take a nap.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
An Awareness of Aging
I am aging. This is something that has been playing on my mind this summer. I'm not old. I just feel myself changing. Living in the moment forces you to see things and feel things that you might ignore otherwise. I now notice changes in my body; new lines, aches and pains, gravity taking its toll. Actually, this is probably a change for the better. In years past I would ignore those aches and pains, truly believing that my body would heal itself and there was no need for intervention. My first bout with tendonitis a couple years ago taught me differently. And it seems lately there has been one reminder after another. The past school year I had some weird foot thing, a frozen shoulder and shingles. That's a lot in a very short period of time.
I revel in everything I am still able to do but I also know it could very well be transient. Walking the Wharf to Wharf reminded me that I am still able to maintain a 15 minute mile for a distance of 6 miles. On the other hand, my very own sister who is only slightly older than I am, is having a hip replacement next week. How is it that we are old enough for such things? This is by no means the end of the world; it is just an awareness of aging. I'm not sad or upset or depressed - just aware.
The flip side is senior discounts. On two occasions this month I have been made aware of senior discounts for those who are 55 and older. The first time I was too afraid to ask for it; I figured they would card me but the second time I told them I would be 55 in 2 weeks... No dice. It must be about time for my gray hair to stop playing around and get serious.
As I turn 55 this week I am also aware that it is a midpoint of sorts. I have loved my 40s and 50s but I'm a little wary of the upcoming 60s. 60 just sounds older to me - the age of retirement, social security and medicare. I, of course, look forward to all of these things but they are symbols of growing old in our society. So it has taken me aback to realize that in just 5 short years, I will be 60 something.
While I am a strong believer that age is an attitude, there are some very real things that accompany it that can not be denied. I sleep less than I did a year or so ago. I tire in the garden more easily. There are pains that must be dealt with. I am simply aware of a change in the air. However, you can be assured that this does nothing to diminish the enthusiasm I have always had for my birthday. I still think it's the best day of the whole darn year.
I revel in everything I am still able to do but I also know it could very well be transient. Walking the Wharf to Wharf reminded me that I am still able to maintain a 15 minute mile for a distance of 6 miles. On the other hand, my very own sister who is only slightly older than I am, is having a hip replacement next week. How is it that we are old enough for such things? This is by no means the end of the world; it is just an awareness of aging. I'm not sad or upset or depressed - just aware.
The flip side is senior discounts. On two occasions this month I have been made aware of senior discounts for those who are 55 and older. The first time I was too afraid to ask for it; I figured they would card me but the second time I told them I would be 55 in 2 weeks... No dice. It must be about time for my gray hair to stop playing around and get serious.
As I turn 55 this week I am also aware that it is a midpoint of sorts. I have loved my 40s and 50s but I'm a little wary of the upcoming 60s. 60 just sounds older to me - the age of retirement, social security and medicare. I, of course, look forward to all of these things but they are symbols of growing old in our society. So it has taken me aback to realize that in just 5 short years, I will be 60 something.
While I am a strong believer that age is an attitude, there are some very real things that accompany it that can not be denied. I sleep less than I did a year or so ago. I tire in the garden more easily. There are pains that must be dealt with. I am simply aware of a change in the air. However, you can be assured that this does nothing to diminish the enthusiasm I have always had for my birthday. I still think it's the best day of the whole darn year.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Week Number Four
The end is near. We are down to 4 days of summer school. That is only 18 hours of contract time and 16 hours of face time! But who's counting? Week number four definitely had its highs and lows. The kids found their rhythm and seemed much more aware of their end of the responsibility of the learning game. Show up and tune in. It's as easy as that. But part of the reason for them finding their rhythm is me bringing the hammer down. No, we don't throw erasers. We respect things that have been GIVEN to us to use. No we don't write nasty comments on other people's name tags. That is rude and disrespectful. The erasers are now being closely monitored and the name tags are currently being recycled into another piece of paper somewhere. So maybe starting the day with basic expectations makes for a better learning atmosphere. I just don't like wasting my time on general behavior that is a given by the time you hit middle school. But you gotta do what you gotta do. The end result is that the writing was more fluent, there were new voices in the room and the unit is feeling connected.
The student teachers and I had our assessment conferences today. That is where I tell them my observations and opinions of their work in the educational profession thus far, according to the teaching standards. Yes, we have standards too. Last year these conferences occurred on the last day so I didn't have to worry about them stalking me down a dark alley in the dead of night to get retribution. I had to watch my words this year since we still have another week together. But it turns out I had nothing to fear. The refreshing part is that each of them was already aware of the challenges which I addressed. I stayed after our meetings and wrote up the reports so now all that is left is the students' End of Session Progress Reports. I think I'll put them off for a day or so.
The student teachers and I had our assessment conferences today. That is where I tell them my observations and opinions of their work in the educational profession thus far, according to the teaching standards. Yes, we have standards too. Last year these conferences occurred on the last day so I didn't have to worry about them stalking me down a dark alley in the dead of night to get retribution. I had to watch my words this year since we still have another week together. But it turns out I had nothing to fear. The refreshing part is that each of them was already aware of the challenges which I addressed. I stayed after our meetings and wrote up the reports so now all that is left is the students' End of Session Progress Reports. I think I'll put them off for a day or so.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Week Number Three
Friday has come again and the third week of summer school is over. The days are passing more quickly now and I am in my rhythm. That's what happens when kids weasel their way into my heart. I look forward to seeing their tired little faces every morning and watching the transformation as I smile and say "How's it goin'?" They don't really want to respond but they just can't help themselves. The student teachers are getting some ah hahs about who is sitting in the seats and what walks through the door with them - deceased or seriously injured parents, language issues, sibling rivalry that lands them in the emergency room, kids who talk freely about learning disabilities or missed elementary school benchmarks, not to mention all the "normal" middle school social issues that at any moment can rear their ugly heads.
There were many positive events this week.
#1 on the list is my appreciation for working in an air conditioned classroom. You don't really know how wonderful it is until the temperature rises above 90. I realized one morning as I was rushing to work that I didn't need to hurry in to get the windows open in order to get the early morning air in the classroom. What a relief! It comes with a feeling of respect for who we are and what we are about. You just can't expect much of a product when human beings are forced to work in unbearably hot classrooms.
#2 Facing 32-34 challenged students each period makes me appreciate and almost crave the balanced classroom. I love how kids learn from one another. 6th grade is just a great age when they start to realize that everyone has gifts to share. Summer school kids are the ones whose voices haven't been heard and they're usually not sure how to get them in the room in an appropriate manner.
#3 Teaching reading and writing in summer school has helped me consolidate my thinking about what I want do to connect the two in the regular school year. I can't wait to get started. I have truly missed the teaching of reading and didn't know how much until now.
#4 Today's conversation with my student teachers was very complimentary. They have been out to enough classrooms and had enough personal experiences with individual kids that they can now see what I bring to the classroom. I don't need their approval to know who I am as a teacher but it sure feels better when it is spoken out loud.
One final observation that has struck me this week is once again the difference between my primary and secondary experiences. Once upon a time long ago I taught at GM and looped from first to second grade. In that class was a boy who I lovingly termed "hell on wheels." I didn't know how else to describe him. He wasn't LD or ED but he was totally out of control. His mom called the police to their house several times over the 2 years I had him. He kicked in doors, destroyed property and just generally caused mayhem. But on the other hand he was charismatic, lovable and really wanted to succeed. The past 4 years haven't solved any problems. He's been at Opportunity and out and "home schooled" which really means he was just not in school. And now he's attempting to re-enter the academic world. He's not happy about it but is making an attempt to play the game. I have had the pleasure of having a few conversations with him this week. In every one of them he was always respectful and went out of his way to greet me by name - that doesn't always happen in middle school. I have been struck by the differences in these challenging kids between 1/2 grade and 7th. As a young child he was the personification of hyper kinetic energy. You never knew where he would end up from one minute to the next. His voice could go from normal speech to yelling and screaming in a split second. Today you would think he was one of the most mellow kids on earth. It's all part of the act and much more difficult to address. He has clearly been my ah ha for summer school. Inside the bodies of our super cool adolescent kids who can''t be bothered even answering your questions is the little boy who just cannot come to terms with his inside feelings and the outside world.
Week 3 has been a turning point. It is the realization of how deeply I love my job no matter who is in the seats. It is also clear to me how much I need to be challenged in my profession. I love the kids that make me rethink what and how I teach. But it is also the awareness that we are on the downhill side.
There were many positive events this week.
#1 on the list is my appreciation for working in an air conditioned classroom. You don't really know how wonderful it is until the temperature rises above 90. I realized one morning as I was rushing to work that I didn't need to hurry in to get the windows open in order to get the early morning air in the classroom. What a relief! It comes with a feeling of respect for who we are and what we are about. You just can't expect much of a product when human beings are forced to work in unbearably hot classrooms.
#2 Facing 32-34 challenged students each period makes me appreciate and almost crave the balanced classroom. I love how kids learn from one another. 6th grade is just a great age when they start to realize that everyone has gifts to share. Summer school kids are the ones whose voices haven't been heard and they're usually not sure how to get them in the room in an appropriate manner.
#3 Teaching reading and writing in summer school has helped me consolidate my thinking about what I want do to connect the two in the regular school year. I can't wait to get started. I have truly missed the teaching of reading and didn't know how much until now.
#4 Today's conversation with my student teachers was very complimentary. They have been out to enough classrooms and had enough personal experiences with individual kids that they can now see what I bring to the classroom. I don't need their approval to know who I am as a teacher but it sure feels better when it is spoken out loud.
One final observation that has struck me this week is once again the difference between my primary and secondary experiences. Once upon a time long ago I taught at GM and looped from first to second grade. In that class was a boy who I lovingly termed "hell on wheels." I didn't know how else to describe him. He wasn't LD or ED but he was totally out of control. His mom called the police to their house several times over the 2 years I had him. He kicked in doors, destroyed property and just generally caused mayhem. But on the other hand he was charismatic, lovable and really wanted to succeed. The past 4 years haven't solved any problems. He's been at Opportunity and out and "home schooled" which really means he was just not in school. And now he's attempting to re-enter the academic world. He's not happy about it but is making an attempt to play the game. I have had the pleasure of having a few conversations with him this week. In every one of them he was always respectful and went out of his way to greet me by name - that doesn't always happen in middle school. I have been struck by the differences in these challenging kids between 1/2 grade and 7th. As a young child he was the personification of hyper kinetic energy. You never knew where he would end up from one minute to the next. His voice could go from normal speech to yelling and screaming in a split second. Today you would think he was one of the most mellow kids on earth. It's all part of the act and much more difficult to address. He has clearly been my ah ha for summer school. Inside the bodies of our super cool adolescent kids who can''t be bothered even answering your questions is the little boy who just cannot come to terms with his inside feelings and the outside world.
Week 3 has been a turning point. It is the realization of how deeply I love my job no matter who is in the seats. It is also clear to me how much I need to be challenged in my profession. I love the kids that make me rethink what and how I teach. But it is also the awareness that we are on the downhill side.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Week Number Two
The second week of summer school is over and done with. The kids are settling into some sort of routine and are figuring out a system for working with one another. They are also figuring out me and where my line is. #1 is flying pencils. Yes, both my classes learned this week that if something flies into Ms. Allen's line of sight, WATCH OUT. They now know that safety comes first. I don't really like getting in kids' faces but sometimes it is an extremely effective strategy and if a pencil flies through the air that is just my gut reaction.
It feels good to have the second week complete. That means that we are almost to the halfway point. My student teachers have become bored with observing and are up and about a lot more, hanging out with the kids. They are attempting to find their role in the classroom and create that all important boundary between kid and teacher.
The whole student teacher thing is extremely challenging for me. I'm not one that likes to have others in my room in the first place so to have 3 of them evaluating every word and action I take requires a lot of self reassurance. I am quick to think that I am being judged but I try to remember that they will one day understand the importance of classroom management as opposed to fun and creative activities. It also helps to know that other experienced teachers have the same issues. I was approached by 2 different teachers yesterday who basically wanted to vent about the passive aggressive nature of their student teachers - whispering to each other in the corner, questioning teachers about why they do what they do, suggesting alternative activities, making comparisons to other teachers. It just fosters a feeling of unease and borders on disrespect. My biggest issue is a self-professed "not a morning person" who walks into the room every day and as I greet her I get nothing in return. Today I think she grunted ever so slightly. Just a big pet peeve of mine. Human beings respond to one another, tired or not. But I have to let it go. It is obviously not about me!
So week 2 was close to a success. No one left the room without permission. The VP was in and complemented me on the tightness of my lesson. One of my more unengaged students asked if he could write during break time. Things are looking up.
It feels good to have the second week complete. That means that we are almost to the halfway point. My student teachers have become bored with observing and are up and about a lot more, hanging out with the kids. They are attempting to find their role in the classroom and create that all important boundary between kid and teacher.
The whole student teacher thing is extremely challenging for me. I'm not one that likes to have others in my room in the first place so to have 3 of them evaluating every word and action I take requires a lot of self reassurance. I am quick to think that I am being judged but I try to remember that they will one day understand the importance of classroom management as opposed to fun and creative activities. It also helps to know that other experienced teachers have the same issues. I was approached by 2 different teachers yesterday who basically wanted to vent about the passive aggressive nature of their student teachers - whispering to each other in the corner, questioning teachers about why they do what they do, suggesting alternative activities, making comparisons to other teachers. It just fosters a feeling of unease and borders on disrespect. My biggest issue is a self-professed "not a morning person" who walks into the room every day and as I greet her I get nothing in return. Today I think she grunted ever so slightly. Just a big pet peeve of mine. Human beings respond to one another, tired or not. But I have to let it go. It is obviously not about me!
So week 2 was close to a success. No one left the room without permission. The VP was in and complemented me on the tightness of my lesson. One of my more unengaged students asked if he could write during break time. Things are looking up.
Monday, July 06, 2009
A Day For Me
Today was our summer school day off in observance of the 4th of July. I didn't really mind waiting for Monday even though the rest of the world was off on Friday. I personally think they postponed it so we could have our first set of Friday meetings with the student teachers. Whatever... I could easily have spent the day doing little odd jobs around the house - gardening, cleaning, etc but wanted to take full advantage of the time off. It is an issue of mine. I have time off but don't really make the effort to enjoy it. Then when the summer is over I don't have the feeling or memories of relaxation. So today was a day for me. I started off with breakfast with a friend at Bill's Cafe and immediately headed for the beach. I walked West Cliff Drive to Natural Bridges, checked out Wisteria and enjoyed a leisurely cup of coffee at The Ugly Mug. Then I drove up highway 1. I love the views this time of year with the combination of farmland and seascapes. The weather was absolutely amazing. I don't think I've ever seen the water as blue as it was today. It was almost indigo. I was completely filled with gratitude for everything I have at my fingertips living in northern California.
I treated myself to a piece of pie from Duarte's and enjoyed it overlooking Pescadero Beach. Everything I did today jogged memories from the past. Natural Bridges Beach was a great place for our family in our younger days. I vividly remember the trip that Dave and I took to Pescadero Beach for some tide pooling which was a college class assignment. The assignment was really just a picture for evidence that you were there. But I was so thrilled that he asked me to go with him.
I continued on to Moss Beach Distillery and had a little beverage on the deck overlooking the Pacific. What a beautiful place! I enjoyed the view and the ever deepening blues of the sky and water. There was not even a speck of fog in sight, contrary to our area meteorologists' predictions. I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for the simple gifts of life. I am blessed with my surroundings, my family and friends and am so happy with the memories that lie just below the surface waiting to bubble up and remind me of what an amazing life this is.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
She Is Home
Maria is home again from her trip to the British Isles. I am glad that she was able to go and do most of what she wanted but I have to admit that I was extremely worried the entire time she was gone. I can't really explain this because she has traveled to Europe before with very little concern on my end. I'm not sure if it is me aging or the instability of the world we live in but anytime anything out of the ordinary happened my "mom" antennae shot up. Her travel blog was the only thing that kept me calm. I loved reading her story and looking at her photos in almost real time. The most interesting thing for me was when we instant messaged because we just happened to be on line at the same time. It was so incredible that we could be thousands and thousands of miles apart but technology could create a situation where worldwide communication is as simple as a click of the keys. The other interesting thing was the Facebook experience. She could send messages and people responded immediately. She could get advice about simple things like tax and duties as well as find a hospital for medical care when she needed. Once again, technology is an amazing thing.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Week Number One
The first week of summer school is in the books and most of what I feel is relief. Like anything else, the beginning is always the hardest. The first days of summer school are even more challenging because of the kids that come and go. Or rather than come and go, I should say the kids that don't come and others take their place. These students are famous for not following through on commitments so the ones that sign up don't actually show up. So every day kids on the waiting list are called to take their place. That makes it doubly difficult to create a sense of community. I am hopeful that next week we will be able to make some progress in knowing who is supposed to be in the room. Summer school kids are by their nature wacky. It's the only word for them. They say and do things that are totally unexpected. But mostly they just don't engage in classroom activities. That is a challenge for a teacher like me who depends on relationships for the bulk of classroom management. So the first week was a lot of work in just trying to develop an interest in what was going on in room 23. I am also challenged by being in an unfamiliar classroom and school campus. On the second day of school a student showed up a day and an hour late for class. He didn't last long before he decided to bolt. I tried hard to go on autopilot but couldn't because I had to think about the direction he was going and where streets or traffic were in relationship to that. I knew I needed to call the office but had to locate the phone first and then the list of summer school numbers. Then I had to inform the student teacher what just happened because she appeared to have missed the whole thing. Not a pleasant experience. You would thing that incident was the worst of the week but I was actually more frustrated by the lack of student involvement. They act like they have never heard the term reading strategies before in their lives. Hopefully we will all warm up a bit in week number two. But I will just say here and now that I have no desire to do this again next year. I will just need to figure out ways to relax and enjoy myself at home without spending anything to do it.
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