As a child I was completely mystified by my grandparents annual comments regarding how fast the year goes by and that everyone one of them seems to go faster. How could 365 days go quickly and how could the speed alter dependent upon your age? Then in my college years, my parents started saying the same thing. So I knew there must be something to this. Now of course, I am in that place in life where I don't speak it aloud, but I do feel the increased speeding of time. We go through our lives one day at a time and before you know it a week has gone by and then a month. Zoom. Another year has come to an end and we ponder what has gone on in that time. What are the life lessons? What are the highs and lows? I guess in teaching we are more congnizant of passing time than other professions. My first thought of a school day is what am I doing today, meaning what am I teaching first period, second period, what meetings do I have today, what I am doing after school. Everything I do is based on time. I teach units of study that have a completion date just so that I can move to the next one. We grade and evaluate progress quarterly, gearing everything toward the proverbial test and then our attention shifts to the end of the year, the last day of school and being assured that these students are ready for the next year so we can start it all over again. My entire work life is dependent upon time. I am forced to notice it but yet I have the same feeling that my grandparents and parents did of it slipping through my fingers.
In looking back over my blogs of 2010, I can clearly see that my life is full of the wonderful. I go on and on about amazing events in my life, my quandaries and yes, even my failures. It can be something as simple as planting a seed in the garden or collecting an egg laid by one of my hens. And sadly enough it can also be as gargantuan as students who don't have breakfast or know that they are loved. My entire life is about questions and discovering answers, questions that most people don't consider or have already answered for themselves and moved on. I am stunned that at my age, I am still creating who I am and who I want to be. It is apparent that I will never be defined or put in a box that says this is who Tere is or was. I am terribly envious of those who find their place and burrow down to root and grow and are able to thrive in that little hole in the ground. But I am on a journey. It has no destination. It is simply a journey of figuring things out for myself. Time continues to pass and that passing of time also changes who I am. Every year that goes by increases my understanding of the students and curriculum I teach. I enter a the classroom a different person based on those experiences. Every passing year helps me understand who I am and am becoming as a friend, neighbor, daughter, sister, mother, and now grandmother. I am deeply aware of how blessed I am to have such amazing people joining me on this journey of discovery.
Time is my friend and is also a constant companion on this journey. It is the one required ingredient that allows me to have all these wonderful experiences. I am learning to embrace the minutes and hours in a day and become cognizant of the speed at which they travel. The older I get, the harder they are to hold on to. And so today, an entire year lies ahead of me; an unopened gift which in the moments ahead I will ever so slowly begin to peel back the paper and see what's inside. A new year, a new beginning to this fascinating journey that lies ahead.
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