Choosing Happiness

This is a new topic for me. I've never thought much about it before because I have always felt pretty darn happy. I really think that one of the things I love most about working in a middle school is that I am usually smiling and it takes pre-adolescents by surprise. It is a blast to watch how they respond to someone with a silly grin on their face and saying good morning to them. So that is my starting point. I am almost always smiling. It is simply part of who I am. I don't consciously think "I'm going to smile today." It is as much a part of me as my straight brown (graying) hair and brown eyes. It is who I am. I believe that a big part of happiness is genetic. When I am with my family I laugh. We laugh at and with each other. Even difficult conversations end with a laugh. It is the way we say everything is still OK. So this all makes me think about how people find happiness.

Genetics and choice
We are all a product of our DNA but that is simply a starting point in the game of being happy. I choose each moment how to feel. No one makes me feel bad or sad. It is all inside of me. With each feeling I identify it and do what I can to either embrace it or remove it. That is easier said than done and some of those feelings take longer to eradicate than others. But in the long run, I become who I want to be.

Take control of my own life
I refuse to surround myself with negative people and the energy they exude. I am very suseptible to it and notice it immediately. When I am unhappy, I take the time to identify the source and if possible remove it from my life. The exception to that is of course winter weather. But where would my spring joy come from without the winter lows?

Identify things that make me happy and use them
I love baking. I love watching movies. When I do what I love, I can overpower the sadness that finds its way into my life.

Find time to put the daily events in their place
I am a reflector and I make time every day to think through the day's events - what went well, what sucked. The process helps me realize that there is almost always more good than bad in my life.

Sharing time
I love, love the process of creating new memories that add to my reservoir of happiness. That comes from sharing time, food and love with my friends and family. I have regular times set aside for some friends (monthly breakfast, weekend coffee dates, dinner, walking partner) and I always look forward to them. Sometimes they turn into a short bitch session but we always come out of it and and are able to find humor in our own lives. This time spent often becomes the impetus for my own self improvement. It also reminds me that while I may live alone, I am not alone. There are wonderful people in my life who "get" me.

Thinking outside of myself
One of the greatest things I have done lately for happiness is to raise chickens. I had no idea that was going to happen when I started this venture. One reason is that they have made me realize that there are just some things that can't be controlled, they just are. They walk, they fly, they eat, they poop wherever and whenever they want. It has become my challenge to simply accept some things in the world. And I have to say that it is slow but it is coming. I still don't like walking out on the deck and seeing their residue but I'm adjusting. It is also extremely entertaining just to watch them from the window and realize how simple life can be but one of my greatest joys is to open the door and take a step or two and watch what happens. All three of them come running, heads bobbing as if to say, "She's here. She's here." If that doesn't make you happy, I don't know what would.

Maintain a long range view
As a child, my mantra was "There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true." It's a quote from Clarice in that funky Rudolf that I still watch every year. I still live my life with one foot in the future, always thinking about what I want to do next. Even though my "next" is semi-retirement, it excites me and it keeps me from obsessing on today.

Think happy
I try to remember that happiness is a choice. It is the lens through which I choose to view my life. Even when things are challenging at work, I look forward to coming home and relighting my fire. I surround myself with beauty and love everything in and around my home. I walk through the door and know that life is good.