Leaving Nothing Undone

If there is anything that helps you realize that you as a grandmother are now the supposed wise one and approaching matriarch status, it is being involved in the final repose of the grandfather.  Although Ralph and I were divorced, we remained friends, so it was only natural that my children call upon me to assist in any way I could.  My big take away was, and if I hadn't gotten it myself, my kids repeated it over and over again, do whatever you can NOW to make this process easier on us when you pass.  I took their words to heart.  I am now the proud owner of not only a prepaid cremation - I actually did that last year - but an "In the Event of my Death" document that contains a list of contacts, account numbers with user names and passwords, the obituary, my wishes for cremation, memorial service, including readings and songs as well as a memorial slideshow.  It was not difficult but it did take some time.  Now looking back on it, I would recommend it for everyone, especially those of us who like to plan out minute details of our life.  It was important to me that the words I leave behind in poetry and song be authentic to how I lived my life and how I want them to send me forth.  Likewise the photos I selected were of me and people that have mattered, not just today, but at the time the photo was taken.  So people who are no longer part of my being are represented as well.  I chose  pictures that not only show the posed shots but also the "what is that face."  Those are actually some of my favorites.  My favorite part of the process was looking at pictures side by side of the 10 year-old Tere and 65 year-old me.  What would the me today say to that young girl who was so worried about life and where it was taking her?  She would say exactly what will go on her prayer card at her death:

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

Henry David Thoreau