Connecting the Dots

I recently viewed a commencement speech by Steve Jobs that planted a seed which quickly became an aha! sapling. He talked about connecting the dots of our life events and the importance of remembering that we don't know where those dots are going until we get through them and can look back. I get that. My life has had a series of dots that created nothing more than concentric circles because I wasn't willing to let go of what I thought I wanted. I appear to be learning my life lessons and getting better at letting whatever is supposed to happen, happen. This little Connect the Dots message reverberating in my brain just brought understanding to another recent question. I have been telling all my friends that this school year is somehow different. I have changed. The word I used to describe it is aging. I am calmer. I am not afraid to just sit and I actually revel in it. Weekend goals do not get accomplished and it no longer matters to me. I leave school when I'm tired, not when I'm done. Now, no one agreed that this was in fact a sign of aging. Everybody had a different opinion because aging appears to be a "bad" word in a certain sector of people - mostly those over 55. No it isn't aging. It is finally being where I was supposed to be. This is me being in balance, being able to focus on the important things in life because the energy isn't being diverted on forcing life to go my way.

I am a middle school teacher. It is only now that I understand that statement to its fullest. I don't bring the fervor to it that I did to primary because it is where I am supposed to be. I don't need the extra energy, it all comes naturally.

I am about to become a grandmother. There is nothing about that fact that scares or intimidates me. It is where I am supposed to be.

I am a homeowner. I'm not sure how I have kept the financial pieces together in my life over the past 10 years but somehow I am still here in this little house on Fremont Street, paying my mortgage, property taxes and insurance. Perhaps this too is just where I am supposed to be.

Yes, I am aging. But that is not the explanation for my recently acquired skill at sitting on the couch for long periods of time. It is indeed, where I am supposed to be.