Someone Else's Shoes in my Footprints

I recently had the most unusual feeling during a conversation with a dear friend. Over the years she and I have had many chats about her husband and the challenges of marriage in general. But as the conversation took a turn for the worse she pulled out a copy of "Too Good To Leave, Too Bad to Stay" my personal Bible in deciding when enough was enough in my own marriage. All I could do was hug her and say "no, no no." But as we continued to talk I had the odd feeling of someone being inside my head and speaking my words. As she continued I began reliving my own pain and as I shared pieces of my story the tears returned. It has been 11 years but my pierced heart felt like someone had just ripped it open again exposing the gash to the open air just like it was the first time once more. The feeling of never mattering, never coming first. I nodded my understanding, my empathy, my shared sadness. It was the only time in my life where I could say, "I know just how you feel" and we both knew it was true.

I don't often feel myself worthy of giving advice. Even when asked, I am hesitant to share my views. Who am I to suggest to someone else words or actions that could unalterably change their own personal journey? I can tell my story but I can't put someone else in it. But here was someone who really did seem to be living my story and the most deeply painful chapter of it. If I could alleviate some of that pain or even just authenticate the feelings, it was my duty, my obligation to share my perspective. So for the first time in my life I am leading the way. I am taking it upon myself to check in with her, to see how things are going, to get together and talk through the hard parts. It feels good and right. I am happy to be her refuge in this very difficult storm. It is the reminder that no matter the twists and turns of life, be they joyous or sorrowful, they are all best shared with those who love us.