Putting God into Words

Retirement has led me to many things but the most important one has been my spiritual journey.  What looked like one closed door after another has revealed itself to be a grand revelation.  Six months ago I started working with a spiritual director.  She began by introducing me to Richard Rohr and Thomas Keating.  These two mystics are exactly what I had been searching for before I even knew I was searching.  Rohr's book, Falling Upward made perfect sense to me for my time of life.  Then came my introduction to centering prayer first shared with Christians by Father Keating.  From there began the search for other things that are out there that I have missed by sitting in church and thinking that was enough.  I started looking and listening.  I now receive several daily emails that are reflections from Catholicism, Christianity and Sufism.  I listen to weekly podcasts that are spiritual or thought provoking in nature and one that just reminds me of the importance of kindness in the world.  

As I grew in my understanding of my spiritual nature, I began to struggle with the words to explain it.  I am a great lover of words but language has always seemed too confining for God.  Once we name anything, we put it inside a box and that 's not possible with God.  My spiritual director challenged me to do exactly what I said that I couldn't.  Here was the assignment that we brainstormed together:

What is the image or symbol of God that works for you?

What are the qualities of your understanding of God?

How does that essence show itself to you?

How do you feel the presence of God?

How do you connect with it?

And here is the resulting work in progress:

God is my Source, the source of all; all things and all beings.  It is in this Source that I live and move and relate to the world around me. My own spirit, my true self is directly connected to the Source.  We were one before I was born and my true self will return to the Source after my death. While I am here on Earth my job is to learn to live in love, to be one with other beings in love.  All of the joys and challenges that I experience are a result of this one and only goal.

The symbol of God or Source or Creator, that works for me is breath.  As I stop to take in the breath and let it out I am reminded that the Holy Spirit is connected to that breath.  As I focus on the breath, I am one with the Source. I breathe in and out, I am reminded of my union with the Source. We are one when I acknowledge that presence. While the presence is always there, it waits for me to acknowledge our union. This for me, is the power of centering prayer. As I quiet my body and mind, I make room for our union together. The 20 minutes of silence is not the gift, it is what comes as a result of that quiet. I make a space for the Source and in that space I become deeply aware that the Source and I are at work together. Working in prayer, in love, and in service to others

I find that my closest connection to the Source is in the quiet.  When I make room for it, it is always there waiting for me to come to be one, once again.  I am learning to grow in love and allowing myself to become closer to the Source. This only happens in the stillness of my life.

Each morning I begin my day by writing for 30 minutes. It is a stream of consciousness that allows me to come face to face with my true self. It brings clarity to my life and to my relationships. It helps me understand who I am, what I really think, and identify my place in the world. But above all, it is prayer..  Prayer becomes simply a conversation between my true self and my Source. It is no longer asking for things for others, it is just an invitation to be present with me.  Sit with me, be with me and in the time together, I will learn.

I need quiet in my life. This is the reason that I feel the essence of the Source in the woods. Living in the northwest has made it possible for me to journey into the woods at a moment's notice. As I enter the quiet, I am aware that I am in a sacred place. This is my church. I am surrounded by beauty, by the awesomeness of creation, by this all-encompassing feeling that I am deeply loved I breathe in this beauty that surrounds me and in the stillness, I am at peace. I am one with my creator, my Source.

God is ever-present in my life.  The once a week church service is not enough to feed my spirit everything that it is yearning for.  It needs the academics of the knowledge of the mystics. It needs the experience of quiet and the stillness to be united with the Source. It needs the sacredness of the walk in the woods. So I journey forth, deeply aware of my relationship with the Source as I continue the work of courage, compassion, and connection.