There I said it, now I have to do it. I am in search of God, once again. It has been 14 years since my divorce from my husband and the Catholic Church. The latter has taken much longer and been much more difficult. I have walked over the threshold of several Catholic churches and back again many times trying to be a "good" Catholic or maybe just trying to forgive the church for being so blind. How can they eliminate so many good and loving people from their congregation because we happen to be divorced or gay? I will never understand it and clearly never get over it.
The church talk came up during The Cousins' Trip a couple times, sometimes over a glass or two of wine and sometimes morning coffee. So it started to stick and grow inside of me. My cousin gave me a suggestion about where to start looking and today was the birth of my journey. Like all journeys, I don't know where it will lead or how it will end but I am ready to begin. Being the age I am brings a lot of preconceptions to the faith department that I may or may not be able to reconcile. In all honesty I loved Catholic worship. It was full of ritual, customs, music and prayer. I'm still searching for that without the blinders and politics that come with the Catholic package. I really don't want to be a part of an organized religion because I don't want my prayer life to be tied to my checkbook.. I also have some weird little quirks about literal bible translations and assumptions about evangelical faiths. I'm slowly learning with the help of Google that most non-denominational churches actually have some ties to the evangelical movement. I have tried Unity and liked parts of it but it was just too vague and ambiguous for me to benefit from spiritually. And that's what this is all about for me, to find a spiritual home.
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