Thursday, April 14, 2011
A Redefinition
This spring break has been brought to you by a lot of thinking, reflecting and one big aha! I made the decision several weeks ago to resign my position as a public school classroom teacher. I endured the shock and wide variety of responses from my peers that came as a result of that announcement. I have listened and taken in for my own evaluation their responses about that decision and their advice for my future. There comes a time when all the input must stop and something must happen in order to put that first foot out in front of the other. The process of getting to that point has been much more difficult and time consuming than I ever imagined. But I suppose that is what happens when you put the universe in charge and you simply allow life to take its own course. For several weeks now I have played out scenarios in my mind. Every day I would wake up to a new one and I would sit with it for a day or so. There was no controlling the thought process; it seemed to have a life of its own. I knew I had let go of it all when I "decided" I would just go back to parochial school. Now this was not just a passing thought. I actually went to the office, picked up an application, filled it out AND wrote the essay. Why? Because the question that kept recurring over and over again is who am I if I am not a teacher? This is what I have done for 21 years and what I had always dreamed of doing long before I did it. I am that person whose what is directly connected with her who. I have reinvented myself several times in that span but never have I gone about redefining that me. So my big AHA finally occurred while hanging out with my 11 month old granddaughter. And a child will lead them... The voice in the back of my head said, you ARE a teacher and you are doing it at this very moment with the most important human being in your life. I am teaching this baby girl what love is, I am teaching her how to define herself in the context of the world, I am teaching her how to manipulate her environment and to love herself. What could be more important that? So I finally got it. I am a teacher and will forever be one. I simply will choose to do it on my terms. And my right foot slowly slid in front of the left. The brain stopped thinking and began planning.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Everyone is a teacher every day of their lives. We are constantly teaching others...even grown-up to grown-up. There is NOTHING more important than teachers; in schools or in life. I don't understand being defined by your job. Perhaps because I didn't have a career outside the home.
I suppose when I called myself a teacher in this post, I did it in respect to the signed contracts, of which I have had many. Yes, we are all teaching one another every day of our lives. However,I am currently the student and the teacher all wrapped up into one at this moment in time. I have learned as much or more about myself from Callie in the past year than at any other time in my life. I am simply happy to be open to what is yet to be and blessed to have so many "teachers" to guide my steps along the way.
Post a Comment